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Porn Is Here To Stay

You can debate its pleasures and its perils to your heart’s content, but no one knows the social effect of porn. So you’re going to have to decide what you like all by yourself…

Anne Sexton, 11 Nov 2011

I don’t know if Julia’s boyfriend was influenced by porn. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. She was perfectly right to break off the relationship if he was pressuring her to do things she didn’t want to do. But that’s not to say that no women want their partners ejaculating on their faces, ever, under any circumstances. Or that there is anything wrong with consenting to do so if you wish.

I don’t know if Gail Dines is correct that violent porn is changing men’s sexual desires. Do people watch violent or humiliating porn because they have a pre-existing desire for that kind of sex? Studies seem to indicate that this is the case. Or does the availability of certain kinds of porn help create the desire? Guess what? Some studies say yes to that too.

To claim that porn is wholly responsible for certain desires seems absurd. Sexuality is a complex process and all kinds of desires existed long before we had the ability to stream, download or even photograph them. It is possible to be influenced or inspired, and porn may give us tacit approval to explore our sexuality, but we don’t have a monkey-see, monkey-do relationship with the films we watch or the books we read. Think of all the murders you’ve seen on television or committed playing Grand Theft Auto.

Could it be that violent (there are all sorts of differences and gradations) porn has nothing to do with sex but offers an outlet for those who feel powerless in the face of corrupt governments, falling wages and neo-liberal free market politics that have fucked us all? I don’t know and from the amount of contradictory studies out there, it seems no-one else does either.

What I do know is that porn is here to stay and taking an entrenched position where all porn is sin or all porn is good doesn’t get us anywhere.

Here’s what I think: some porn is good; an unfortunate amount of it features fake orgasms; a surprising quantity is dull; some of it is beautifully shot; some porn lacks artistic merit but seems real, honest and at times even brave; a worrying amount seems misogynistic; and some of it, such as child porn, is most certainly harmful.



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