Pat Carty
A veritable Thomas Young de notre temps, Carty holds two, count them - one, two - masters degrees, one in science and one in the liberal arts, which form a fetching wall hang in his penthouse bathroom. He was head hunted by Hot Press from The Watchtower, for whom he wrote a popular advice column for nearly two decades. Despite his firm belief that popular music should have ceased trading around the time Van Halen fired Dave Lee Roth and The Clash fired Mick Jones, he will listen to anything for money and/or hard liquor. If he doesn’t know the answer, he can make it up for you cheap.