Sting does Reggae. That's a good thing, you might think, those great early Police records are all the better for their incorporation of a distinct Jamaican influence. Think again.

They don’t even get halfway through the opening title track before referencing “Rice and Pea” and the “Ghost of Bob Marley”. Is this a deliberate Dickens double entendre? Probably, Sting has never been known to wear his learning lightly. Either way, if Bob Marley, wherever he is, took one listen to this, he’d round up the fellas – Peter Tosh, Marcus Garvey, all the lads – and head around to sort these chancers out. “It wasn’t me!”, you might hear Shaggy repeatedly plead, as Marley brings the lead (not hash) pipe down on his head.

This busman’s holiday to The Caribbean probably seemed like a capital wheeze on paper, but we can only hope it was more fun to make than it is to listen to. A shame really, 2016’s 'I Can’t Stop Thinking About You' was one of Sting’s best singles since those halcyon Synchronicity days, although it hardly had much competition. As for Shaggy, his toasting skills can only be described as an acquired taste - he is a long, long way from the likes of U-Roy or Big Youth.

Drop the needle anywhere and cringe, whether it be the eco-pleading, Lewis Carroll quoting ‘Just One Lifetime’ which makes you long for the plastic apocalypse, or the criminal Kenny G-style saxophone on ‘Morning Is Coming’. In fairness, ‘To Love And Be Loved’ and ‘Don’t Make Me Wait’ are almost alright, at a push, and there’s a nice groove buried in the back of ‘Sad Trombone’. If you were jarred up in a Kingston hotel, you might idly tap your toe. But be warned, and I am not making this up, the “deluxe edition” includes a reggae version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s ‘Love Changes Everything’. Chase those crazy baldheads out of the town.

You may have thought Simply Red’s massacring of Gregory Isaac’s ‘Night Nurse’ or Dennis Brown’s ‘Ghetto Girl’ were the worst possible crimes perpetrated against the glories of Jamaican music. You were wrong.

Rating: 4/10