What’s happenning in the local comedy scene? Well, that would have been easier question to answer a few years ago when all the Irish Comedians were racing around the country with the Carrolls Comedy Tour. PJ Carolls used the comedy scene to advertise until they were given the big advertisement elbow from the Government. We performed in every hay barn, outhouse, inhouse and cowshed they could find. Don’t get me wrong. They were great craic. We were awash with gigs. I even got to do a gig in Tullow Rugby Club. Vicar St me arse. You haven’t gigged until you have done Tullow Rugby club.
That’s one thing I don’t understand. Why no company picked up the ball after Carrolls were given the heave ho. Mind you, a few individuals tried. One guy asked me to do some ‘background comedy’ at his Corporate day. You know, like background music. It’s simple. You just stand there in a corner and tell jokes as people pass by.
Another guy wanted me to do ‘an over 30 floor show’. Apparently an ‘over 30 floor show’ is a show that is performed to an audience who are all over the age of 30. Oh and it’s done on a floor.
A particularly professional one was from this chap who wanted me to warm up the audience before a gigantic Q/A session with Eamon Dunphy in The Big Tree pub in Dorset St. It was sold out and when I asked about the fee I was told I’d be ‘looked after’. When I pressed him about what being ‘looked after’ meant I was told that everything would be grand and that I would be ‘looked after’. If you get your Big Tree/English Dictionary out at home and look up being ‘looked after’ it you will find it means ‘A selection of sandwiches and pints’. Class.
In Singapore they have a fab Comedy Club called ‘The One Night Stand’. During Paddy’s week my name came out of the hat and off I went . I was performing with the brilliantly funny Rickey Grover who is an absolute gent. All flights were paid for and our little 5 star hotel was simply amazing. Food was gorgeous, people were friendly (even the taxi drivers give you a deduction from the meter if they can’t find your destination immediately. Here you’d have to re mortgage your house). There were clear blue skies, and I played golf on this orgasmic course with a stunning looking Chinese woman called Diana. Where would you get it?
The downside?
Yes, that’s right, you are not allowed to buy chewing gum and oral sex is illegal. If you break the law over there you get a few lashes of the Rotan. The Rotan being a rather effective method of taking the equivalent word of scanger out of their vocab. You get a minimum of six and a maximum of 24 lashes. If the Doc decides you are not fit enough for the six then you get three now and three later. I’d say the wait for the other three is great craic.
This is not the case in Manchester where I was coming out of the Frog ’n’ Bucket Comedy Club with James Goldsberry and we were approached by what I can only describe as 3 ‘gollums’.They were no more than 17 years old and they said that they were going to stab us. James did some of his routine (or maybe someone else’s) and they legged it.
The Montreal Comedy Show case is fast approaching, it will be held on April 20 in Vicar St. All the heavys are coming out for this one which will be hosted by Des Bishop. There will be 13 in all and to name but a few, Joe Rooney, Jason Byrne, Martin Bigpig, Dave McSavage, Sue Collins, Reuben and myself will all be there present and correct for laughter duty.
Gibney’s Comedy Club in Malahide is thriving. It’s now two and a half years old and, at last, punters are coming regardless of who is on. This Fri 16th I have Steve Day (UK’s only deaf comic) and Tara Flynn. The following Fri the 23rd, UK’s brilliant Danny Jones and Claire Campbell will be lashin’ out the gags. Every now and again Steve Cummins hosts and he is a total asset to the club. Aonghus McAnally recently performed at Gibneys for the first non smoking gig and got two standing ovations. Not one but two.
I have a new PR person on the scene. Her name is Miriam Lee and if you cross her she’ll ate ya. She writes for everyone and knows everyone. I am going to need all the PR I can get for my gig in Vicar St on Fri September 24. If you are a member of Tullow Rugby Club you’re on the guest list. See you there.