You join us in the clubhouse of the North County Dublin Cricket Grounds in Balbriggan, where Divine Comedy frontman Neil Hannon and Pugwash mastermind Thomas Walsh are discussing (with a remarkable degree of authority) the finer points of cricket with three members of the Irish team, John Mooney, Eoin Morgan and William Porterfield.

This month’s Cricket World Cup in the West Indies sees Ireland participate in the tournament for the first time, and Neil and Thomas are keen to do all they can to demonstrate their support for the cause.
The three cricketers, for their part, seem absolutely chuffed to be attending this summit with two of the most talented songwriters in Irish rock. “It’s not everyday I get to meet lads who sell albums all over the world,” observes John. “Yeah, I’ll let you know when they get here,” laughs Thomas. Then, looking over at Neil, he says, “Oh, there he is!” It turns that when Neil and Thomas collaborated on the single ‘Tinsel And Marzipan’ before Christmas (released in aid of the Irish Epilepsy Association, Brainwave), cricket was high on the conversational agenda.
“Every time we went on telly to talk about the single, we’d end up discussing cricket and ELO,” says Thomas, to which Neil adds, “Yeah, we’re so with it!”
“But we just love the game,” continues Thomas. “When I was a kid our family used to go to Wexford on our holidays, and we’d buy these cricket sets in plastic bags. Myself and my brother would head over to this field nearby and we’d play the game all day. I remember listening to the 1981 Ashes in Australia on BBC radio – and waiting for fucking five minutes for the reception to come in! We also played on the little pitch across from the polo grounds in the Phoenix Park.
“I mean, we were into it in a really big way. Of course, when you get to 16, 17, you start to get more into football. And from there it’s a downward spiral into sex, drugs and masturbation 40 times a day – the usual shit (laughs).”
For his part, Neil says that “my band is entirely English and most of them are cricket lovers. We like to confuse Germans by rolling up to the park and playing cricket at them – they have no idea what’s going on. Having said that, we don’t really know what’s going on either!”
Did Neil play in his youth?
“At school, I was always down in the music room trying to avoid anything physical,” he remembers. “But I kind of wish they’d told me about cricket, because no one ever asked me whether I wanted to play or not! It could have been my proper destiny and I never knew (laughs). My school, Portora, had a decent cricket team, but they were more rowing orientated.”
Neil, of course, is from Fermanagh, and mention of his school team prompts William (who was born in Derry) to reflect on sporting encounters with Hannon’s alma mater.
“My school played them a couple of times in rugby,” he says. “Portora was a much bigger school than us, but we were always very competitive. They could be quite physical games.”
“Well, I probably hated the people you hated,” suggests Neil.
Turning to more contemporary cricketing concerns, John explains that while the Irish team train in Balbriggan, their home internationals usually take place in a rather more well-known venue.
“We have a ground up in Stormont,” he says. “That’s as good a ground as you’ll play in anywhere in the world. The wickets are perfect, everything. There was about 7,000 people there when we played England last year.”
John, Eoin and William have also played at the home of cricket, Lord’s.
“There’s a funny story about the first time I was over there,” says John. “I went up to the canteen and the head cook was a woman from Balrothery (the area of Balbriggan where the cricket grounds are located). It turns out that I’d played Gaelic football with her brothers! She wanted a shirt signed and everything, it was great. And Jesus, the food was unbelievable.”
Eoin, meanwhile, relates a story which suggests that Spinal Tap incidents aren’t just confined to the world of rock ‘n’ roll.
“When we played at Lord’s last year, I got lost trying to find my way onto the pitch,” he admits. “I was doing twelfth man and at one point I didn’t know where I was. All the rooms look the same!”
As talk turns to the World Cup, John outlines the team’s pre-tournament itinerary.
“We play South Africa in Trinidad, which is our first warm-up game, then we play Canada, and after that we head to Jamaica. The opening ceremony is actually the next day, I think.”
“Are you nervous?” asks Neil.
“We just want to get there and soak up the atmosphere,” replies John. “Once we’ve got used to our environs and acclimatised a bit, we’ll really be ready for it.”
“Fuck it, I wish I was going!” groans Neil.
Our conversation having come to an end, Neil and Thomas head outside with the cricketers to pose for photographs. Grabbing a bat, the Divine Comedy singer chuckles, “Surreal moments in my life – the latest instalment” and enthusiastically agrees to the suggestions of hotpress snapper Cathal Dawson. And watching Neil and Thomas lark around with John, Eoin and William, I can’t help but come to the conclusion that the musical duo don’t like cricket. They love it.
The Irish team’s opening game in the Cricket World Cup is against Zimbabwe on March 15. They then play Pakistan on March 17 and the West Indies on March 23.
Pics: Cathal Dawson