Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Any other Leos – this day is about me, thank you!

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
My housemate, so she can make sure I get home at the end of the night.

Favourite saying?
We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

Favourite record?
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac.

Favourite book?
The Secret History by Donna Tartt.

Favourite film?
The Miseducation Of Cameron Post.

Favourite author?
Margaret Atwood.

Favourite actor / actress?
Christine Baranski.

Favourite musician?
Janelle Monae.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
Flashing everyone at Edinburgh Waverley when running for a train. I didn’t realise my rucksack had made my dress ride up to my waist!

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
Cheese – especially when hot and dunkable.

TV programme?
Sense8 – whoever cancelled it can catch me outside.

Favourite TV personality?
Kate from Below Deck.

Favourite item of clothing?
Do shoes count? Because I have quite the collection of cowboy boots going.

Most desirable date?
I do not desire dates, I suffer them.

Favourite method of relaxation?
Sitting by a fireplace, preferably with red wine and a dog at my feet.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
I’ve done pretty much every job in book publishing, so I imagine I would have done every job in theatre instead.

Biggest thrill?
Going to take the bins out, just to realise someone else has already done it.

Biggest disappointment?
Every time I fail to open a box or envelope and have to rip it.

Your concept of heaven?
A library – very specifically one with a big fireplace, comfy armchairs and a roller ladder.

Your concept of hell?
A broken down, rush hour Central Line tube.

What would be your dying words?
Delete my search history.

Greatest ambition?
To one day keep a houseplant alive.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
The ‘20s for all that glorious literary drama. And to challenge F Scott for the name.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
Given the dog currently curled up beside me napping while I work to pay the bills, that seems like quite a nice life.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
Try to finish the book I’m reading – dying mid-read is a terrifying prospect.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Stevie Nicks – the cape game is strong.

Favourite term of abuse?
Plonker.

Biggest fear?
Wasps. And dying alone. But mostly wasps.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
The printing press.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
Those little tabs on bottles that stop you being able to take the lid off (or put it back on properly!)

• Then Things Went Dark by Bea Fitzgerald is available now via Penguin.