- Culture
- 19 Jul 13
Hollywood’s latest Stephanie Meyer adaptation simply isn’t up to scratch...
WRECK-IT RALPH DISNEY
Rating 4/5
Extras 4/5
No-one knows what it’s like to be the bad man. Unless you’re Wreck-it Ralph that is, in which case baby, you were just 8-bit programmed that way. After 30 years as the wreck-em smash-em villain of arcade game Fix-It Felix, Ralph is tired of being hated for merely doing his job. Abandoning his post, Ralph decides to shake up the gaming world by going rogue and visiting other electronic realms. Cannily pitched at audiences both young and old, Wreck-It Ralph is a sweet blend of humour, sophistication, sentimentality and nerdgasmic gaming jokes. The clever plot is propelled by its universal themes, warm characters and multi-level humour. John C. Reilly imbues Ralph with oafish charm, while Sarah Silverman is all high-pitched hyperactivity as cute sidekick Vanellope. Jane Lynch is deliciously acerbic as a Hero’s Duty army captain, while 30 Rock’s Jack McBeynor is a camp delight as the flawless Fix-It Felix. A love letter to underdogs and nostalgia wrapped up in a pixel-loving package of retro gaming goodness. Great extras include adorable short film Paperman.
THE HOST
XXX
Rating 1.5/5
Extras 3/5
Twilight writer Stephenie Meyer produced this adaptation of her science fiction novel. It is as mind numbingly dull as you would expect. Saoirse Ronan is Melanie, a ‘unique’ (read: not unique) girl who resists the attempts of extra-terrestrials to take her over, body- snatcher style. Instead she shares her body with another being, Sybil-style. Melanie and her lodger smooch different boys, horribly clichéd lines are uttered, and Ronan wastes her talent on another mediocre film. Clunky scripting and dull characters aside, Stephanie Meyer’s tale also reveals her misogynistic, sex- shaming beliefs. Instead of asking us to look anew at the human experience, as good science fiction should, Meyer’s tale reminds us that if girls feel like their own bodies don’t even belong to them, this is a dysmorphia that is perfectly reasonable because, you know, their bodies don’t belong to them. The Host is ridiculous stuff, and derivative too. Avoid. Extras include (thankfully) deleted scenes.
THE PAPERBOY
LIONS GATE
Rating 1/5
Extras 3/5
Lee Daniels’ The Paperboy combines everything that the Shadow Boxer and Precious director does worst: preposterous plotting; reductively provocative depictions of sexuality; and a sledgehammer approach to The Big Issues. So enamoured with its complex posturing that it becomes an unintentional arthouse parody, The Paperboy takes place in the backwaters of a steamy 1960s South Florida. While investigative reporter Ward Jansen (Matthew McConaughey) tries to prove that sociopathic swamp-dweller Hillary (John Cusack) was framed for murder, brother (Zac Efron, pantsless and trying very hard), develops an attraction to Charlotte (Nicole Kidman, impressively shameless); Hillary’s dysfunctional pen-pal love. Plot, character development and emotional resonance are non- existent as the bedraggled film claws its way through only vaguely related scenes of alligator gutting, violent BDSM, oral sex mime performances, facial urination and pointless throwaway references to racial conflicts, counterfeits and confusions. The only saving grace is the sweaty, sensual cinematography. All saturated light and jerky zooms, it beautifully evokes the steamy aura of the setting. But this mess of a film quite literally isn’t worth the sweat. Extras include interviews.
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TRANCE FOX
Rating2/5
Extras 4/5
Danny Boyle can handle multi-faceted stories. He balanced social commentary and zombies in 28 Days Later, Bollywood romance and seedy underworlds in Slumdog Millionaire, and drugs and self-discovery in The Beach. However, with noir thriller Trance, the director only tackles a single subject: memory. Worse, he does not do
a particularly good job. James McAvoy is Simon, an art dealer who foils an art heist by losing the painting – and his memory. Gang leader Franck (Vincent Cassel) employs hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) to get his memories back. Simon’s subconscious turns out to be a fragmented minefield, laden with both danger and the opportunity to manipulate. Unfortunately, at this stage Boyle forgets who the main character is. Too many twists and turns confuse the plot. There’s also a lack of much-needed ‘disturbia’. The memory manipulations never achieve the nightmarish brilliance of Trainspotting. Despite great cinematography and a pulsating score, it’s very disappointing. Packed extras prove better than the film.