It s a measure of Mark Lamarr s showbiz ubiquity that even when he goes for a haircut, it goes out live on breakfast television. The presenter of the hugely popular Never The Mind The Buzzcocks the BBC s prime time Friday night flagship and a team captain on Vic and Bob s legendarily madcap Shooting Stars quiz show , Lamarr recently rid himself of the greasy tuft when he went under the knife on The Big Breakfast for a Third World charity.
But isn t Lamarr sans coiff a bit like a spoonless Yuri Geller or Rod Hull without EMU?
I thought it would feel really weird, says Lamarr, that it would be like having one of your arms cut off but actually when I look in the mirror it feels really natural. I ve had the coiff since I was a teenager. Now I just wonder why it took me 15 years to get rid of it!
The Swindon-reared comedian is currently engaged in a gruelling 40-date tour of the UK, in the middle of which comes his imminent Irish appearance at Dublin s Olympia on February 26th. The night before this interview, Lamarr had come through opening night nerves in Swansea with, he assures me, flying colours. But how did the crowd react when they saw the newly-shorn 50s throwback ?
It was absolutely brilliant, he gushes. I had the best heckle I ve ever heard. I walked on stage and before I d said a word, this bloke shouted out 50s convict! . I just broke up laughing and the whole audience was in stitches. A great start to the show, that. It s an all new show too so you re always worried about remembering the material but I came through it OK.
The tour itinerary encompasses most points between Leicester and Llandudno. Is there any noticeable difference in how Lamarr s material is received in different cities and countries?
Actually, I find that when I play countries like Ireland and Wales, you realise that not everything you do in England works there, he says. Aside from the odd geographical reference which people might not get, I ve just played Swansea where there was a palpable air of Welsh nationalism in the audience.
But one thing I don t want to do is patronise those audiences by trying to weave local references into my act. There s nothing I hate more than comedians trying to ingratiate themselves with an audience by passing themselves off as one of them .
Yes, if I hear any more of your compatriots doing a routine on Temple Bar, I shall be forced to use my BIC pea-shooter.
I promise I won t!!
Because he s that bloke who s never off the telly (he even recently appeared on a discussion panel on Channel 4 s White Tribe, talking about Englishness and race) Lamarr concedes that he rarely ever has time to watch it himself not even his own programmes.
I m too busy. If I ve spent all day recording a show in a TV studio, the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit down and watch it.
But surely you must watch other comedy shows?
To be honest, I don t really watch comedy on the telly, opines Lamarr. I ve seen The League Of Gentlemen and the Royle Family and I liked them but my problem with British comedy is that it s too insular and introverted. I ve seen most of the comics in Britain and they don t do a lot for me.
What about someone like Paul Whitehouse?
Yeah, Paul s very talented. I remember when they made the first series of The Fast Show, nobody knew what it was. I did the warm-up for the very first shows you know, it was originally going to be called The Paul Whitehouse Show and I remember the audience was made up of old-age pensioners . . . and obviously they didn t know what to make of it. So there was practically no background laughter!! All these great sketches would just die on their feet!
Although Lamarr dismisses himself as a loud-mouthed, opinionated tosser , it was as the surly, permanently miffed malcontent on Shooting Stars that he first came to the greater public s attention. He was, of course, playing the straight man s role to perfection so much so that people could come up to him on the street and tell him what a miserable, humourless git he was! But the grumpiest guest, I suggest, to have ever appeared on the show was Chris this is the road to hell Rea.
Actually, Chris Rea was one of the funniest guests we ever had on the show, says Lamarr. I m serious. He was laughing and cracking jokes as much as Vic and Bob were he really entered into the spirit of the thing but when the programme was edited, a lot of his one-liners got cut out and so he ended up looking like a surly, miserable old sod.
Inevitably, the conversation returns to that coiff, and loss thereof. A self-confessed rockabilly freak when growing up, it s not difficult to imagine Lamarr playing air guitar on a g-string along to the Stray Cats when growing up. But he is a trifle perturbed when I tell him that in a recent photo that appeared on the cover of the Guardian, he looked the spit of one Mr. Morrissey, Esquire.
I ve never liked Morrissey, says Lamarr. I find him morally sinister. That he could send flowers to the funeral of one of the Kray twins is completely perverse. I made the quip about it on Buzzcocks, but I meant it: so meat is murder but bumping off Jack McVitie is just a bit of a laugh? Sean [Hughes] tried getting me into him. He kept playing me old Smiths records but it didn t work, I m afraid.
Strange: One would have thought, after his hair-razing experience on TV, that Lamarr could at least relate to Suedehead !
Mark Lamarr plays the Olympia Theatre, Dublin, on Feb 26th.