What dark place is this? What has happened to my head?” Whoever (or whatever) answers to the name of Cyriak, he (she? It?) is one seriously sick puppy.

The site www.cyriak.co.uk contains some truly warped, visionary, delirious psychedelic-horror visions, vivid Captain Marvel-on-bad-acid animated nightmares that suggest a meeting of the minds of Monty Python, H.R. Giger and Matt Groening on Kryptonite.
The finest is probably BeastEnders, a profoundly twisted take on the Albert Square alternative universe. That said, the ‘Mind Maggots’ and ‘Dancing Lawnmower’ sequences both offer plenty to raise the blood pressure. (Aforementioned maggots apparently “live inside your brain, and feast on your rotten thoughts.”) There’s also a segment wherein 25-stone pint-swilling darts genius Andy ‘The Viking’ Fordham attempts an ill-fated William Tell routine on newly-crowned world champ Raymond Van Barneveld, with somewhat grisly results. ‘The Destruction Of Brighton’, meanwhile, is a Mark E. Smith-like apocalyptic prophesy which depicts the seedy seaside town invaded by aliens, insane robotic horses and left-wing insects.
Meanwhile, This YouTube vid applies some excellent creative desecration to a few legendary album covers, from Sgt. Pepper and Dark Side Of The Moon to American Idiot and Led Zeppelin 1. There’s a slight bias towards discedited ‘80s glam-metal (Dio? Dave Lee Roth? Def Leppard?), but it’s none the less impressive for that.
Fans of obscure South African Boer-folk military marching music can access the genre at its most stirring, by accessing www.awb.co.za/leier_e.htm which, we should warn you, appears to be the official site of Eugene Terreblanche’s white-supremacist Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging. Quite professionally presented, the site’s undoubted star attraction is the asphyxiatingly hilarious anthem ‘Hoor Die Geknars’. There’s also a generous collection of Mr. Terreblanche’s poetry (yes, poetry) including such undoubted masterpieces as ‘Hy Hou Wag’, ‘Dwaalster’ and ‘De Rooigrond Tronk’. It goes without saying that Caught In The Net would like to distance itself from the political viewpoint inherent therein.
Which leads us neatly and symmetrically onto www.caltonradio.com, a merry little online playground describing itself as “an online Protestant Unionist Loyalist community… Political discussions, Banter, Football and lots more! Never a dull moment and would be delighted to hear from you.” The site claims to be the very heartbeat of online loyalism, sponsoring flute bands and hosting dances: there’s also a full catalogue of loyalist merchandise for those who find such regalia a turn-on. If that wasn’t treasure enough, the site also boasts a comprehensive guide to the lyrics of practically every loyalist ballad ever written, including ‘A Fine True-Hearted Protestant’, ‘Dolly’s Brae’, ‘Loyal Heart’ and ‘Old Orange Flute’. Have fun.