Here they are, mostly in chronological order, and neatly divided into subcategories so you can read through them without moving your lips if you like…

BEST OF THE BEST…
If your house goes on fire, you’ll gather these and only then go back for the cat. When absolutely nothing else will suffice. If you have mere weeks left to live. These are the standout 10 films of the past 30 years. Ta-dah.
1. STALKER (D. Andrei Tarkovsky, 1979)
2. ERASERHEAD (D. David Lynch, 1977)
3. ALICE (D. Jan Svankmajer, 1988)
4. A SHORT FILM ABOUT KILLING (D. Krzysztof Kieslowski, 1988)
5. DEAD RINGERS (D. David Cronenberg, 1988)
6. 32 SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLENN GOULD (D. François Girard, 1993)
7. GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES (D. Isao Takahata, 1988)
8. CRUMB (D. Terry Zwigoff, 1994)
9. COWARDS BEND THE KNEE (D. Guy Maddin, 2003)
10. FITZCARRALDO (D. Werner Herzog, 1982)

INDIE SCHMINDIE…
The battle lines between studio product and pictures from the independent sector have long since broken down and degenerated into a big game of football. Still, we’re pretty sure the following titles aren’t too tainted by Hollywood funding. Or in the case of White Dog, they were tainted but got thrown onto the street to fend for themselves.
HALLOWEEN (Dir. John Carpenter, 1978)
WHITE DOG (Dir. Samuel Fuller, 1982)
SANS SOLEIL (Dir. Chris Marker, 1983)
PARIS, TEXAS (Dir. Wim Wenders, 1984)
BLUE VELVET (Dir. David Lynch, 1986)
RESERVOIR DOGS (Dir. Quentin Tarantino, 1992)
DEAD MAN (Dir. Jim Jarmusch, 1995)
PI (Dir. Darren Aronofsky, 1998)
GEORGE WASHINGTON (Dir. David Gordon Green, 2000)
TARNATION (Dir. Jonathan Caouette, 2003)
PRIMER (Dir. Shane Carruth, 2004)

IRISH…
When you’re the first port of call after the Atlantic, it’s tough to forge your very own film industry. Happily, the days when Irish films were too short, too long, or just plain incompetent seem to be behind us. Hell, we can even make decent genre films now…
ANGEL (Dir. Neil Jordan, 1982)
THE BUTCHER BOY (Dir. Neil Jordan, 1997)
AIDAN WALSH: MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE (Dir. Shimmy Marcus, 2000)
LAST DAYS IN DUBLIN (Dir. Lance Daly, 2001)
BERLUSCONI’S MOUSETRAP (Dir. Eamonn Crudden, 2002)
IN AMERICA (Dir. Jim Sheridan, 2002)
INTERMISSION (Dir. John Crowley, 2003)
CHAVEZ: INSIDE THE COUP – THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED (Dir. Kim Bartley and Donnacha O’Briain, 2003)
HOTEL RWANDA (Dir. Terry George, 2004)
ADAM AND PAUL (Dir. Lenny Abrahamson, 2004)
DEAD MEAT (Dir. Conor McMahon, 2004)
PAVEE LACKEEN (Dir. Perry Ogden, 2005)
THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY (Dir. Ken Loach, 2006)
MIDDLETOWN (Dir. Brian Kirk, 2006)
ONCE (Dir. John Carney, 2007)

ANIMATION…
Now that every two-bit studio has decided to churn out CG animation for a quick buck, it’s easy to forget that it’s still the most imaginative sector around. Where would we be without the civilising influence of anime? Or Pixar? Somewhere not very nice, we suggest.
MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO (Dir. Hayao Miyazaki, 1988)
WHISPER OF THE HEART (Dir. Yoshifumi Kondo, 1995)
NOISEMAN SOUND INSECT (Dir. Kôji Morimoto, 1997)
PERFECT BLUE (Dir. Satoshi Kon, 1998)
TOY STORY 2 (Dir. John Lasseter, 1999)
SPIRITED AWAY (Dir. Hayao Miyazaki, 2001)
MILLENNIUM ACTRESS (Dir. Satoshi Kon, 2001)
VOICES FROM A DISTANT STAR (Dir. Makoto Shinkai and Steven Foster 2003)
THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE (Dir. Stephen Hillenburg, 2004)
WALLACE & GROMIT IN THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT (Dir. Steve Box and Nick Park, 2005)

WORLD CINEMA…
By 1977, we had missed all the good stuff in this continent. The nouvelle vague was done and dusted: new German cinema was breathing its last. Still, you can always rely on Ingmar Bergman, whatever century you find yourself in…
PROVIDENCE (D. Alain Resnais, 1977)
NIGHT OF THE SHOOTING STARS (Dir. Paolo Taviani and Vittorio Taviani, 1982)
FANNY AND ALEXANDER (Dir. Ingmar Bergman, 1982)
SANTA SANGRE (Dir. Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1988)
JESUS OF MONTREAL (D. Denys Arcand, 1989)
CRONOS (Dir. Guillermo del Toro, 1993)
IRREVERSIBLE (D. Gaspar Noé, 2002)
THE RETURN (Dir. Andrei Zvyagintsev, 2003)
L’ENFANT (D. Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne, 2005)
PAN’S LABYRINTH (Dir. Guillermo del Toro, 2006)

CHICK FLICKS…
Less pay, fewer rights and, worst of all, cruddy movies, it’s different for girls. Just to set the record straight, here are 10 smart female friendly films. Renee Zellweger, you will note, does not pop up complaining about her weight in any of them.
THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN (D. Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1979)
SHE’S GOTTA HAVE IT (D. Spike Lee, 1986)
WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN (D. Pedro Almodóvar, 1988)
HEAVENLY CREATURES (D. Peter Kackson, 1994)
BEFORE SUNRISE (D. Richard Linklater, 1995)
RUN LOLA RUN (D. Tom Tykwer, 1998)
FAR FROM HEAVEN (D. Todd Haynes, 2002)
A TALE OF TWO SISTERS (D. Ji-woon Kim, 2003)
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (D. Michel Gondry, 2004)
INNOCENCE (D. Lucile Hadzihalilovic, 2004)

HOLLYWOOD…
Where would we be without Hollywood hegemony? Watching Iranian cinema all the time? Giving alms to charity? Or looking at the big space on the wall where Johnny Depp ought to be? Here are some prime examples of When Hollywood Goes Right.
DAYS OF HEAVEN (D. Terrence Malick, 1978)
APOCALYPSE NOW (D. Francis Ford Coppola, 1979)
ALIEN (D. Ridley Scott, 1979)
RAGING BULL (D. Martin Scorsese, 1980)
THE SHINING (D. Stanley Kubrick, 1980)
THE KING OF COMEDY (D. Martin Scorsese, 1983)
SE7EN (D. David Fincher, 1995)
HEAT (D. Michael Mann, 1995)
LOST IN TRANSLATION (D. Sofia Coppola, 2003)
APOCALYPTO (D. Mel Gibson, 2007)

SEQUELS…
It is often said that the only three sequels worth a damn are Huckleberry Finn, King Henry The Fourth Part 2 and The New Testament. Still, sometimes a sequel can be good clean po-mo fun. Behold…
MAD MAX 2 (D. George Miller, 1981)
STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (D. Nicholas Meyer, 1982)
EVIL DEAD 2 (D. Sam Raimi, 1987)
GREMLINS 2 (D. Joe Dante, 1990)
DIE HARD 2 (D. Renny Harlin, 1990)

ASIAN…
The big film story of recent decades has been the rise of the East. Bollywood films can be found in any city in the world. The PRC has a film industry again. Martial arts have become respectable arthouse staples. Meanwhile, J and K horrors have been giving us all the heebee-jeebies.
KAGEMUSHA (D. Akira Kurosawa, 1980)
RED SORGHUM (D Zhang Yimou, 1987)
TETSUO: THE IRON MAN (D. Shinya Tsukamoto, 1989)
HARD BOILED (D. John Woo, 1992)
DAYS OF BEING WILD (D. Wong Kar-Wai, 1996)
HANA BI (D. Takeshi Kitano, 1997)
AFTERLIFE (D. Hirokazu Koreeda, 1999)
AUDITION (D. Takashi Miike, 1999)
ICHI THE KILLER (D. Takashi Miike, 2001)
OLDBOY (D. Chan Wook Park, 2003)

COMEDY…
More often than not, comedies are the loose slatternly bridesmaids of cinema, lazily assembled around the presence of Jim Carrey or some other bloke. But fear not, for Leslie Neilson is here to save the day.
ANNIE HALL (D. Woody Allen, 1977)
AIRPLANE (D. Jim Abrahams and David Zucker, 1980)
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (D. John Landis, 1981)
THIS IS SPINAL TAP (D. Rob Reiner, 1984)
WITHNAIL AND I (D. Bruce Robinson, 1987)
CRY-BABY (D. John Waters, 1990)
TRUST (D. Hal Hartley, 1990)
ED WOOD (D. Tim Burton, 1994)
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE (D. Trey Parker, 2004)
BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN (D. Larry Charles, 2006)