If there’s one thing that’s worse than a deathly dull sports movie, it’s a deathly dull American sports movie. Now dwell for a moment on the worst of this benighted genre (Hoosiers aka Best Shot may well have the edge here) and double it. That’s where Coach Carter’s at.
Produced under the remit of former music video channel MTV, this preachy basketball flick sees hard-ass coach Samuel L. Jackson goose-step, Basil Fawlty style, into a ghetto high-school to commandeer some basketball playing toughs and show them what’s what. Team spirit is fostered through a brutal regime of sit ups, padlocks and tie-wearing, and within two scenes the team have transformed from ghetto fabulous losers into sports casual champions – if, indeed, such a thing is possible.
As Sam gets medieval on their asses, lessons are learned, responsibilities are assumed, underdogs triumph and audiences lose patience, if not consciousness. The metronomic repetition of Mr. Jackson bellowing "Dee-Fence" and the hundreds of hours (for thus it seemed) spent watching spinning slow-mo basketballs in majestically dreary flight plays like a life-sapping version of William Castle’s hypno-vision.
Honestly, if Sam Jackson keeps signing up for formulaic detritus like this, he’s in mortal danger of becoming the new Robert De Niro.

Running Time 20mins. Cert 15a. Opens February 25th.