Everybody loves Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. The very birds in the sky sing more brightly when the two Irish actors are near. Why, even when Stewie killed Colin in Family Guy he seemed to blast him with that laser in an affectionate sort of way.
Together our two favourite thespians provide a healthy outlet for our basest jingoistic impulses and give us increased credibility abroad. Can it merely be coincidence that they came to prominence just before a time of rapid modernisation and ongoing peace in Northern Ireland? Hardly.
In addition to their contribution to the gaiety of nations, particularly our own, Messrs. Farrell and Gleeson have built dazzling careers in the business we call show. Currently you can catch them – together at last! – in In Bruges, the storming new black comedy from playwright turned Oscar-winning filmmaker Martin “Six Shooter” McDonagh.
In this hotly anticipated crime cape,r our heroes play hitmen who – after an assassination goes horribly wrong – take refuge in Belgium’s best-preserved medieval city. Brendan tries to make the best of his unexpected holiday. Colin keeps complaining that everything is ‘shite’. Then Ralph Fiennes’ villain shows up and all hell breaks loose.
On the eve of the film’s release, Hot Press sat down for a symposium, an intellectual love-in if you will, on what our heroes have to say about the perils and pitfalls of movie stardom. With their assistance we’ve compiled a foolproof plan to get ahead in Hollywood. Simply follow these ten simple steps et voila, you too can work with Steven Spielberg or Oliver Stone. Probably.

DON’T BE A HOLLYWOOD WAITER
“In LA you see guys and girls from everywhere reading the menu specials and just waiting for their big break,” says Colin. “I could never have done that. It’s just really fucking sad. I mean I’ve been incredibly lucky every step of the way. But if I hadn’t been as lucky as I have been, I still wouldn’t have done it. I don’t see the point.”
Brendan agrees. “You have to decide if you’re an actor or not,” he says. “That was a really big thing for me. But it’s something you have to do. Once you draw that line then you have to focus on the work. You have to get out there and find it. It’s not about working out a career plan. Stay with the work and make the break. I still don’t think I have a career. I just want to do good work. That’s true for both of us.”
“Yeah,” nods Colin. “If I hadn’t got the breaks I would have gone off and been a journalist instead. That was the only other thing I ever really wanted to do.”
Then he smiles. “But I would have been straight with people.”

OH, BE NICE!
We’ve all heard Brendan’s impassioned speech on the festering state of our health care system. We’ve all seen those ridiculously intrusive though undeniably cute photographs of Colin and his young son, James. We sense they’re good guys and their colleagues and co-workers invariably agree. “Before I met him properly I remember Brendan walking around the set of Harry Potter,” says his In Bruges and Goblet Of Fire co-star, Clémence Póesy. “He’s always this big smiling guy. Everybody seems to like him.”
Colin’s champions are equally enthusiastic. Sally Hawkins, the recent winner of the Best Actress accolade at the Berlin Film Festival, simply couldn’t find enough nice things to say about Colin after working with him on Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream. “He is just the greatest ambassador for your country,” she gushes. “He’s just the loveliest, most kind-hearted man you could ever meet.”
Budding actors please take note – for some reason industry people respond better when you’re personable.

DICTATE YOUR OWN TERMS
How far will you go for the sake of your career? A stint on a cheesy reality show? A love scene with Firehouse Dog? Forget about it. That’s not how our guys got where they are today.
“It was Gabriel Byrne who made me see there were possibilities for an Irish actor,” explains Brendan. “He was the one that showed you that you didn’t have to go away to London and you could use your own accent. He was a really important figure on the landscape. Nobody ever thought such a thing was possible before him.”
Brendan, who was the ripe old age of 34 before he jacked in teaching in favour of his present career, insists there are certain things you’ll just have to figure out for yourself. “I was an auld fellah when I started. I mean, I was already doing it – but I was doing it on my own terms. That’s the important thing. Stay with the work and stay true to yourself.”

MAKE FRIENDS
Being nice is one thing but having friends in high places is what keeps this great nation of ours going. Mr. Farrell would be the first to admit that it’s just the same in the movie world. “There was a whole chain of people involved in the breaks I’ve had,” he says. “If I hadn’t met Joel Schumacher, then nothing might have happened. And then I was given a whole series of incredible opportunities. Take away any one of them and nothing might have happened.”

GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND DO SOMETHING
But what of those who don’t get a series of incredible opportunities? “If you want to act then act,” says Brendan. “There are loads of theatre spaces around the city. Write something, direct something, put it on in Bewley’s. You can’t just expect the work to come to you. And you can’t expect to get a break if you’re not actually working in the first place.”

THE RUBBISH BIN INSPECTORS
“I have to stop sending these tabloids pictures of myself,” jokes Colin. “What can you do? They’ll write whatever they want. You just have to ignore it and get on with it.”
Brendan admits he’s not sure he could have coped with all the attention that was lavished on Colin in the early days. “I wouldn’t have managed,” says Brendan. “I found it very lonely when I started, even when I was the age I was. I felt an awful need to be home. I’d go off and immediately I’d want a local and to gather people around me. I take solace from what Colin did because you’d hope that you’d stay true to what you’re there for – which is the work. And he did. And he spent six or seven years on the road non-stop.”
He turns to Colin. “I remember you told me that and it frightened me, even thinking about it,” he says. “If that had happened to me at that age I would have been in trouble.”
“You would have been grand,” says Colin. “You’ve too good a head on your shoulders.”

THE BOX OFFICE FLOP BLUES
“You have to move on but it’s not a good feeling,” says Brendan. “Working on a film is a very intensive business. For an actor it’s at least three or four months of your life, of all your energy. When it doesn’t work it’s tough.”
“It can be really depressing,” nods Colin. “It can be devastating. You and an incredible number of other people have put in the hours and the effort. But you have to just pick yourself up and get on with the next thing.”

WORK WITH THE BEST
They’ve both worked with Steven Spielberg. Indeed, Colin has taken orders from behind the megaphones of Terrence Malick, Woody Allen and Michael Mann. Brendan has served time under Martin Scorsese, M. Night Shyamalan and Anthony Minghella. Happily, they can now add another privileged notch to their respective bedposts as the stars of Martin McDonagh’s first feature. “Just reading the script was a brilliant experience,” says Colin. “It was hilarious. I loved the other-worldliness and hyper-reality of it. And Martin is an incredible collaborator. His energy just percolates down through the cast and crew.” Brendan nods in agreement. “Yeah, Martin is a great talent. He just has it. There was never any question about what was there on the page. It was always up to us, to deliver the goods on the day.”

KEEP YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND
Brendan lives in Malahide with wife Mary and four sons, Domhall, Fergus, Brian and Rory. “I’m a nest builder,” he admits. Colin keeps a pad in Dublin 8 – though these days he spends most of his time in LA on fathering duties to son James. Last year Colin revealed that his son has Angelman Syndrome, a rare genetic syndrome characterised by intellectual and development delays. “He’s getting better all the time,” Colin assures us. We’re very glad to hear it.

FLATTER THE PRESS
Brendan is always a generous and amiable interviewee. Colin has remained loyal to the small band of Irish film journalists he first met in the line of duty. “I haven’t seen you in about five years,” he says when I first walk through the door. “I wouldn’t forget. You’re very striking looking.” Now that’s what we’re talking about. More please.

In Bruges is out March 7