Creep is a lo-fi, subterranean British horror with a nasty shock at the centre. Could it be the film’s monster, a flesh-craving abomination stalking late night tube commuters? Alas, no, although said fiend is indeed impressively ghastly, a sort of incestuous limey cousin for Leatherface. The film’s most disturbing jolt, however, comes courtesy of Franka Potente’s central performance. It truly breaks the heart to report that the most fanciable fraulein since Steffi Graf, and one time actress of note, would fail to land a sheep role in an Ed Wood directed nativity play based on her efforts here.

I just can’t figure it out. She’s always seemed so fabulous auf Deutsches dashing about in Run Lola Run and The Princess And The Warrior. Nor did she disgrace herself across the Atlantic with turns in The Bourne Identity and Blow. In theory, the character of Kate, Creep’s party-girl heroine, ought to be perfect for Ms. Potente’s galloping charms. Trapped down in the deserted bowels of the London Underground, post-witching hour, Kate must escape the cannibalistic clutches of a misshapen maniac, while screaming in heavily accented English and avoiding the vast rat population.

To be fair, Franka has nowhere to run with Creep’s patchy script and a plot that seems to get lost down one of the tunnels. After a decent hour of atmospherics, all momentum is lost in favour of squelching gore and generic incompetence. By the time you hit the scene wherein our scream queen stumbles upon The Genesis Of The Monster, you don’t even care how pitifully half-assed the explanation seems.

The really frustrating thing about all this is that Creep teases with glimmers of promise. Nick Baldock’s dripping, cavernous sound design is suitably freaky, the creature’s prosthetics don’t blow the entire deal and the setting is terrifically gloomy. But this ain’t no Death-Line. This isn’t even a Mimic. So if your heart is set on nocturnal public transportation horror, best just jump the 3AM Nite-Link instead. Shudder.

85mins. Cert 16. Opens January 28th.