- Culture
- 06 Feb 18
Let’s face it: newspapers all over the world will be dominated this year by coverage of the planned wedding between the man the UK calls Prince Harry and the US actor, Meghan Markle. So what is the one-time Suits star really like? Who better to find out from than her older sister, Samantha Markle? Interview: Jason O’Toole
Meghan Markle’s older half-sister is – pun intended – royally pissed off. Samantha reckons she’s being depicted as your stereotypical wicked older sister by tabloid newspapers. And she wants to, once and for all, set the record straight in this exclusive Hot Press Interview.
Samantha, who has the same father as Meghan, has suffered from MS for the past ten years. Sitting in her wheelchair in her Florida home, the affable 53-year-old invites me to pull up a chair to hear her side of the story. Remarkably, this is her first major in-depth Q & A since Meghan and the man they call Prince Harry announced their engagement to the world.
Not only does she believe her words have been twisted, but Samantha also claims that certain media outlets have shoved a fair share of them into her mouth too. She was once quoted as saying, “The Royal Family would be appalled by what she’s done to her own family. The truth would kill her relationship with Prince Harry, he wouldn’t want to date her anymore because it puts her in a bad public light.”
But Samantha, who is writing a memoir about helping to raise her little sister, insists that she never made those comments.
“In the early days,” she explains, “when I was declining an interview on the phone, my boyfriend – and I should wrangle him in here – was in the room and he was mocking a British dialect and he was doing the Queen’s accent and he said, ‘Oh, the Queen would be appalled!’
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She points at him. “He said it. It was meant as a joke. There’s no recording on the planet, there’s nobody that can say that was my voice. It was my boyfriend doing the Queen. A distinctly male voice saying, ‘Oh, the Queen would be appalled’.”
When the quotes appeared, she was hung, drawn and quartered by the British public.
“I felt like a witch circa 1600 in the Salem witch trials. With a mad amount of people and flames rising at my feet and people throwing stones at me, calling me a witch. You can’t win,” she says.
Samantha truly believes that the media spotlight is pulling her family apart.
“I wouldn’t say it ‘caused’ tension – it increased it. It’s throwing gasoline on a fire,” she insists.
At one point, she begins to cry when I ask if she believes the media frenzy has put the nail in the coffin of her relationship with Meghan. “Yeah,” she nods, as her eyes tear up. “It’s been pretty horrible. I don’t think anybody would want to be in my shoes. I think there’s so much social pressure on things that are just sensitive and normal. If I was going to be able to talk to her there’s no way now.”
Sadly, Samantha is the first to acknowledge that whatever she says here is probably only going to add to the bonfire of vanities…
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Jason O’Toole: You lived with Meghan for her first 12 or 14 years, according to reports.
Samantha Markle: Ok, let’s clear up that misconception: when I was 14, Doria – Meg’s mum – started a relationship with my dad. We realised, ‘Wow! This is a really small apartment. Better get a big house because this relationship is serious’. We all moved to a big house. They got married. About a year-and-a-half later, Meg was born. I was 16. By the time I was 18 and Meg was almost two, I moved out. But we were still family. My apartment was 15 minutes away. I was spending time at the house: playing big sister, picking her up after school, doing family events on weekends, during the week, holidays.
Were you close?
Yes, we were close – as would be normal for our age difference.
The fact that Meghan is from a mixed racial background seems to matter a lot right now. Did it impact on her?
I know there were things that she was frustrated about. I never saw her go through a really rough time with that.
Did she suffer much racism?
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She saw some pretty sad things with her Mum, who was exposed to some pretty nasty words that are thrown around in mainstream discourse: the ‘N’ word and expletives that are attached to that. That can be hurtful for a young woman. Her Mum was really good about it. She worked it out and understood that they are just people in the world that are hateful, that are afraid. It’s the same thing as bullying. It really screams insecurity and inferiority.
Did some members of the family object to your father and Doria having a relationship because she was black?
Yes. It was sad for them. There was not racism in our household. The cool thing about our household was that we were colour-blind. When we talk about racism in our family, it was with previous generations. And that lingered with me – affected me. There were things spoken that I sheltered Meg from.
What type of neighbourhood did you grow up in?
Not rich, upper-middle class. Those houses were about $250,000 and now you can’t get them for less than $750,000 to a $1million dollars – or more. It’s a nice, quiet suburban neighbourhood with cul-de-sac streets. Some of the neighbours were a bit stuffy. It was a good neighbourhood. There were no drive-by shootings. It was not the ghetto!
What was your reaction when Doria was pregnant with Meghan?
It was incredibly exciting. For a teenage girl to put her hand on the belly of the woman who is carrying a little baby and that little baby happens to be your sister, it’s incredible. As a teenage girl, it stopped me in my tracks.
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Can you remember the first time you held her?
Yeah. It is scary because they’re so fragile. It was incredible. When she was a baby, my nickname was Daft Duck – Daffy Duck. So, here was this teenager girl trying to be cute and I’ve got a baby sister running around calling me Daffy Duck in front of my friends. But I came to love that nickname.
In later years, she referred to you as ‘Babe’.
I still see her as this little girl that was bouncing around on my lap that I wanted the world for. If you’re an older sister, I don’t think you ever really lose that.
Meghan was about eight-years-old when her parents divorced.
I can’t exactly say when things started. It wasn’t a loud, angry divorce riddled with animosity. It was pretty smooth. It was just irreconcilable differences. But there was never anything explosive that I saw in front of Meg.
I presume the divorce was upsetting for Meg?
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Doria and my dad instilled in her: ‘You be strong. And even though we’re parting, everybody loves you. The world is your oyster. And you don’t have to feel like you’re losing any of that because we’re splitting up’. If she was affected by it and it made her sad, I didn’t see it. I saw her as having fun, doing great in school, being funny, and embracing life. So, for Meg it was like, ‘Cool. I’ve now got two houses’.
The tabloids are claiming that you haven’t spoken to Meghan in practically a decade.
There’s a lot of misconception about that. In 2008, she was at my graduation. That was the last time I saw her. The last time we spoke was 2014, almost 2015. Her last words were, she said, ‘I love you, babe. I’m really glad we had this conversation. Keep in touch’. And she couldn’t – she got busy. But I tried.
You’d like to her give you a call now?
Yeah, yeah.
Have you tried to contact her in the last year?
No, I couldn’t. I didn’t know where to get a hold of her. I was feeling that all of this negative stuff in the media made her feel like she believed (it all). I literally saw it as tearing this family apart. Because first it became ‘Samantha slams her sister’ and then other people on the fringes of the family were lashing out at me for slamming. I didn’t slam anybody, that was never what any of that was about.
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But Meghan presumably knows that there’s a lot of bullshit out there.
I was thinking she should’ve called and said, ‘Babe, what’s going on? What happened? Let’s talk’. But the British Royal Family and Meg should know better. They say horrible things about Meghan – but Meg knows not to believe it. They say horrible things about the British Royal Family. Where was my benefit of the doubt? Wow! She’s got security. She’s got a publicist. She’s got people protecting her and doing damage control. I have nothing. I felt like I was stretched out in the middle of the road with vultures tearing my veins and my muscle off of my limbs. I had no protection from that.
Words can get twisted…
I jokingly said, ‘Somebody should do a reality TV show called ‘Meet The Markles’. Notice I said, someone should do. And then every paper across the nation said, ‘She’s doing her own reality TV show’. What? I said ‘someone’, I never said I’m doing a reality TV show. I was so clear what my book was about from the beginning, that it was honouring and that it was positive – yet every tabloid on the planet wanted to believe that it was a slamming tell-all.
You’re high profile now because Meghan is going to be what they call a princess. You could end up being invited onto Big Brother or I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.
I think our lives have been enough of a reality show inadvertently. I wouldn’t do a reality show.
Has your dad been onto you to say, ‘Will you please not talk to the media?’
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My Dad did say that. I thought for a while, ‘I’m not going to say anything’. A lot of people don’t come out and say anything, and the tabloids say things about them anyway. I thought: if they’re going to be saying things about me anyway, I’m going to be heard. I am going to speak out. I’m not implicating myself by silence.
But you have made some disparaging comments about Meghan on social media…
Yeah, I’ve been pretty quick on Twitter. Foot-in-the-mouth-syndrome. I made a comment about (Beverly Hills) 90210 (which) was meant as a joke, a play on words. It falls on the ears of people who cannot understand my sense of humour. The effects of that were like an avalanche. Oh, my God! I may as well been thrown up and caught on a sword, mid-air. Stupid – but I’ve always been like that as a quick-wit.
You also made some negative comments about a humanitarian trip she made to India.
I can only say to Meg, ‘Forgive me.’
Do you believe humanitarianism should start at home?
I’ve always said that humanitarianism begins at home. If you’re going to be a global humanitarian you have to demonstrate that in your own life and at home. I do believe that. But family takes mutual effort – that’s not just Meg’s responsibility.
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She’s spending 75k on her wedding dress, while your Dad drives a very old car.
My Dad is still running around in a beat-up car. Meg should help him. I love her, but she should help Dad. I’m not candy coating it. It is true.
You’ve got a serious illness, but Meghan never helped you out in any way, did she?
No. You’re asking really targeted questions. That’s a double edge sword. I’m not making excuses: but she was really busy, globally, doing her thing and I didn’t want to burden her. Also, strength of character and, ‘I’m Wonder Woman. I can do it all’. So, I didn’t ask her for help. Maybe she thought because I was being stoic that I didn’t need any help. I have to hold myself somewhat accountable for that.
On the other hand…
… there’s a little part of me that thinks, ‘No. I was really having a hard time. The burden was on her to reach out. She had the physical energy to. It doesn’t take a lot of time to make a phone call’. Humanitarianism in that regard, for me, didn’t mean money – it means moral support, reaching out, saying, ‘How you doing? Let’s get together’.
Did you ever have a conversation with Meghan about money?
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Yeah, I did. We were on the phone. It was probably not my place to say, but I was saying, ‘Help Dad with some of that money for school, now that you’re making a lot of money’. She wasn’t pleased. She said, ‘There are too many cooks in the kitchen, babe!’ Wow! I guess big sister is being told to step off. But I really felt she should reciprocate. It wasn’t a hand-out. Nobody was asking for money. It’s like, ‘You’re doing really well. Help Dad with some of that money back’.
You’re going to be accused again of slamming your little sister…
I’m really tired of people saying that I’m slamming my sister because I’m honest about her helping my Dad. I can still say, ‘I love her’, and then say, ‘Help Dad’. It’s not a big deal. Everyone knows I’m right. And everyone’s afraid to say that the Emperor is not wearing any clothes, so to speak. I’m not slamming. I do love my sister, but I’m honest and I am right and I am reasonable: she should help – if she’s such a humanitarian that means (helping) my father, who she owes everything to.
Would you go as far as to say your sister is selfish for not financially looking after your Dad?
A woman with a good heart would help her father. It should be automatic. He shouldn’t have to ask for anything.
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You were quoted in US media as claiming that Meghan only got her role in Suits because of your Dad.
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I did not say that Meg got her gig on Suits because of my Dad. I said that everything she has is really because of my Dad. He got her a start in acting through his connections. She went to Northwestern; many of the people on Suits I had heard of are Northwestern alumni. Without his input and support, she would not be doing what she’s doing
If you could talk to her now, what would you say?
I’d say, ‘Wow! You can definitely pay back Dad now some money for school. It’s not about handouts – it’s about doing the right thing.’ I would say, ‘That’s your business (with how) you and Dad work it out. Love you. Glad you’re happy. And I still believe all of those good things I said about you’. And, ‘Let’s sit down, have tea and talk’.
Your own mother said negative things about you in the press.
I need to set the record straight: my father and mother divorced in 1974. My mother (and I) never had a good relationship. From the time I was 12, I went to live with my father. She always resented the fact that my father and I were close. She and my brother were close. They were taking a media opportunity: ‘She’s doing a book, let’s get her’. It brought out the ugliness in family dysfunction. I never said anything negative about them in public; why would they say such horrible things about me?
Your mother is being presented as somewhat of an authority on Meghan.
My mother has not been a Markle since 1974. She’s been married twice since that. She’s never met Meg! Maybe once. But she doesn’t know anything about me, my father or sister. I wasn’t raised with her – yet she’s put forward as if she’s the authority on the family. How tacky!
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Your mother claimed that you pretended that Doria was the maid!
No – that was never me. Doria had heard neighbours and people assume or ask her if she was the Nanny. I was always proud of our family.
There’s a lot of similarities between you and Meghan.
It’s the Markle nose. But it’s more than that. We’re sisters.
There was a media frenzy to track down Meghan’s father when the engagement was announced.
My brother gave up his whereabouts. A son that loves and wants to protect his father doesn’t do that. He was the first one to take photographers to an uncle’s house. He’s estranged from my father. I’m not. My father and I are very close and speak every day. And here’s the proof: if my father was close to my brother he could’ve given everybody my Dad’s location. No, my brother had to go to my uncle’s house, try and pay another uncle $10,000 to give up my Dad’s whereabouts. And then they find my Dad down in Mexico. How tacky and cheesy of my brother to be selling Dad out?
Is your brother wild?
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That’s evidenced by his mug shot! He’s got a history of drinking and drugs. My brother has had a field day with his drugs and partying at the expense of the family. I tried to help my brother with legal help when I was worried that he would face going to prison after he pulled this gun.
Who did he pull a gun on?
His girlfriend. He was in a relationship for 15 years and, all of sudden, ends that relationship and is in a (new) relationship with some absolute stranger. And the next thing we know his mug shot is out there; he’s arrested and charged for pulling a gun on her in a drunken dispute. I can’t imagine how that would’ve felt for Meg to see. I’m not going to say it’s out of character for Tom.
It’s embarrassing for your sister, I’d imagine.
Indeed. I’m sure she’s really embarrassed. What sucks about it though is – and it’s sad – is that he is my little brother. I love him. But I don’t know who this buffoon is. He’s behaving in such a reckless way. We want him to get help.
Otherwise, he could end up dead?
I was worried that, going to prison, he could end up dead, which is why I tried to get him legal help. You can’t save someone when they insist on crashing into a wall. If he continues on this trajectory he can get hurt. I hope something else doesn’t happen.
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Was Tom close to Meghan?
No. Tom has not seen Meg since they were 12. He has no idea about her life. He has no adult pictures with her. My Dad hasn’t spoken to Tom in about 10 years.
Meghan celebrated Christmas with the Royal Family. Afterwards, Harry said: “It’s the family I suppose she never had.”
She has a large family, complete with aunts, uncles, cousins, brother, sister – and marrying really extends it. A lovely extension. It’s not the family she never had – it’s the family circumstances. So, maybe Harry was referring to Meg not having a family that could conveniently get together all at the same time.
Do you think she might have presented Harry with an inaccurate portrait of her background?
No. I talked to my Dad about that. Dad’s not hurt by what Harry said. I think it was a simple comment. The public would like to make out that Meghan’s an orphan. Or, ‘Oh, the Markles are a rubbishy sort’. No, the Markles are not a rubbishy sort. There’s no Dukes of Hazard. There’s no Simpsons. That was all a joke my brother spewed. A pretty normal artistic family. We’ve always been there for her.
You’re going to call your book The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister. Why?
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I’m so glad you asked. A tabloid coined the phrase for her: Princess Pushy. It was so horrific. It was inappropriately applied to her. When I started writing my book, I chose that title because it is incredibly controversial. It was me making a mockery of social perceptions and labels. That was not my description for her. I wanted to show in the book that she’s the opposite of that.
Meghan might find the title offensive.
But she could’ve asked. I think to be offended over merely a title would be ridiculous. Her heart and her mind are certainly big enough to look and to see what the book is all about.
So, Meghan will just have to wait to pick up a copy in her local bookstore like the rest of us…
She’s going to have to read my book to feel my feelings; to see how I cherish her childhood; how I really feel; how all of this is affecting me. But the bigger picture was our inter-racial family intersecting with this point in history. And for her to know how important that was to me – and she’s got to read my book now to do it because we lost communication. C’est la vie. It’s not nice that your own sister or brother know you have to go through a publicist or an agent to find out – a phone call is really easy, the more appropriate way to do that. It’s sad.
Was she pushy growing up?
She’s so determined. Some people have said pushy – cool! Push. Go for it, Meg. Because you only live once. She definitely has that ‘go for it’ attitude. My Dad and Doria encouraged her not be afraid to speak out. I see a lot of that in her today.
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Was Meghan spoiled, as they say?
Spoiled is such a nasty word. She wasn’t spoiled. She was loved, nurtured and cared for, and cherished. She learned the lesson that we all do as kids – not to take things for granted.
Do you think she always wanted to be famous?
Don’t all kids? You want to be a princess, a dancer, an actor. I don’t think she was any different.
Did she seek your advice about modelling and acting?
Yeah. I was hoping that I could be inspirational to her. But, at the same time, I was hoping that she wouldn’t go into acting because we all hear stories about how it ruins kids. And she seemed so innocent, full of life. I thought, ‘Hollywood sucks. It’s going to corrupt her. It’s going to hurt her self-esteem’. It didn’t hurt her self-esteem at all. She did just fine.
Were you relieved when it looked like she was going down a different career path?
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In college, when she was going to go into foreign affairs, I was like rooting her on: ‘Cool! She’s going to be like Condoleezza Rice. And that’s great because here’s a secure future in politics and in the military’. I thought, ‘Oh, God! She’s so intelligent. She could really fit in anywhere in the world with that brain’.
Do you think Hollywood changed her?
It made her a much more mature woman. It made her more sure of herself. This muck about: ‘She’s an actress and she’s fake. Hollywood changed her. It’s gone to her head’. Blah blah blah. I think it has been distracting for her. But it’s also has been part of what has made her grow.
As an aspiring princess, there’s a lot of pressure on her now…
There’s a lot of strain and public pressure around the relationship. So, has all of this changed her? It’s probably changed her in a scary way, but she went into it with an informed consent. She’s going to do pretty well if everybody would back off and be supportive.
What’s your favourite anecdote from her childhood?
We were sitting on the bed at Christmas time and my father came in – instead of wrapping gifts he would say, ‘What do you guys want for Christmas?’ He threw a catalogue on the bed and he goes, ‘Why don’t you look through this and find out what you want?’ I found a ring that I liked. It wasn’t really pricey, but I guess Meg at her age – she was 11 – it was to her. I showed it to her and she goes, ‘You’re not getting that ring, babe!’ Woo, the Great and Mighty Oz has spoken. Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain. She literally came out and laid it on the line. She just busted in and said ‘uh-uh’. I liked that bravery in her. I see that in her now – she will speak her mind.
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Was there an element of insecurity?
Meg wanted straighter hair like the other girls – and that wasn’t specifically racial. That was a typical girl wanting something that she doesn’t have. Like, ‘I hate my hair! I want straight hair. My friends have such pretty hair’. As they say, the grass is always greener.
Was Meghan popular with boys?
Of course. She was pretty, but she wasn’t one to – quote – arouse! She was pretty studious and loved drama. So, boys weren’t really a big issue.
Was your dad strict?
No. He was very matter of fact. He didn’t like big drama. We had a curfew. I wasn’t allowed out after 10.30. He was conservative, but very gentlemanly when he did meet some friends.
Did Meghan and you talk about boys?
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No. We talked about acting. We talked about family stuff. I wish I could’ve given her advice because it seems the sisterly thing to do. But looking back, she really didn’t need it. She had happy relationships, very few rocky catastrophes.
You once said that she liked Prince Harry growing up?
God! Where do these tabloids get this stuff? No, no, no. Tabloids said that Prince Charles wanted to wear his mother’s clothes! I doubt it! Tabloids say the craziest things. They say very hurtful things. This whole thing in the tabloids that I’d said (putting on a Dick Van Dyke accent from Mary Poppins), ‘She has a soft spot for ginger’. No. I don’t use the word soft spot. I don’t use ginger. I could’ve been quoted as saying, ‘Our father had auburn hair’.
Are there similarities between your father and Harry?
It seems as though Harry has some of the charming qualities that our dad does. That little sparkle. The auburn hair and the cute, quirky personality, if anything, attracted her. I think that’s probably it.
Your Dad hasn’t met Harry yet, has he?
No. They’ll make it happen when they’re ready.
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But your Dad has talked with Harry.
I’m going to leave it up to him to talk about that when he wants to. They have spoken. Dad is supportive of them.
Is your dad thrilled that she’s marrying Harry?
Yeah. But like any Dad, he wants her to be happy. However long that will be for, and however they define their relationship – it will be what it will be. He loves her and he’s happy for them both.
Do you think Harry’s cute?
He’s quirky and cute and perfect for her. They’re very charming together. But I think more than that he has a noble heart. Prince Harry resembles the best qualities in my father. My father would never show up at anybody’s door without a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.
Will Meg and Harry have kids?
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Yeah. They’ll be these little, elf-like, cute, funny kids that always look like they have a secret – giggling and charming.
You don’t think you’re going to get an invite to the wedding?
I don’t know if she’s going to feel that my book is good. There’s a lot of misperception out there. I’d be lying to say that I wouldn’t be hurt if I didn’t get an invite – but that’s really up to her. That’s her day. It’s her special moment. And I would love to be a part of it.
Do you think Trump should get an invite?
No. I think Donald Trump is mentally unstable and a danger to the world. And I think he would be a huge insult to everyone there.
When did you first hear about Harry being in your sister’s life?
It was last November. A friend of mine called and said, ‘Are you sitting down?’ I said, ‘Well, I’m in a wheelchair! It’s like a no-brainer’. And she said, ‘Have you seen the news? Do you know that your sister is dating Prince Harry?’
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What was your reaction?
In our family, coming from Los Angles, I swear to God – people don’t believe me when I say this – we’re raised in entertainment where if they’re dating someone successful and well-known it’s no big deal. That’s life in LA. I was like, ‘What is all the drama about?’
Did you go to her first wedding?
No, I did not. And sadly so.
Why not?
I was busy at school, I was dealing with the beginnings of some disability challenges. So, I had a lot going on in my life. But God! It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be there.
Did you hear why they broke up?
I didn’t ask. I just wished them both well.
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Is her marriage to Harry going to last?
I don’t think any of us can know that. Life is short. We don’t know that we’re guaranteed a tomorrow, or a next year or 10 years down the road. Let them be happy that they have love now.
Do you think Meghan set her sights on becoming a princess?
I don’t think she ever planned a path to the palace, but certainly she wanted to meet someone that she clicked with, that had goals in common. Nobody held a gun to his head. He entered into a relationship upon informed consent, as did she. I guarantee that if she had met him at Invictus and he was an absolute jerk, or he was nerdy, she wouldn’t have been impressed and they wouldn’t have a relationship.
Are you jealous of your sister becoming a princess?
No. God! Why would I be jealous? In many ways, our lives paralleled each other. She had done a Miller’s Light commercial. I had done a Coors Light beer commercial. I had worked on a soap opera, a couple of sitcoms and I got guest star credits on a television show called Matlock. Then, I was behind the camera one day and I realised that I wanted to be behind the camera and do other things; I wanted to go back to school. I decided I didn’t want to do it. But I encouraged her to keep on doing it if that’s what made her happy.
Is there a fear that what happened to Princess Diana might be repeated?
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Maybe more so. Princess Diana was dealing with some very challenging personal issues and I think that was hard and dramatic enough – but now we throw heated racial issues into the mix, we throw complex foreign affairs, and it seems there’s a lot more – let’s just say – potential energy there, a lot more emotions, a lot more fuelling these issues now. I hope that she is safe from them. I know she’s equipped with her life tools, but I do worry about her. And I know that she’s in the arms of someone absolutely capable, loving. Prince Harry is quite the gentleman, and quite worldly. So, she’s definitely got the right man.