Merry Christmas ya bunch of poo faced comedy lovers!

Firstly the big news is that The Comedy Cellar is now in the very capable hands of comedian PJ Gallagher. After four or more years in charge of the booking and general running of the club by myself and Fiona Byrne of TongueTiedcomedy. com, we decided it was time to hand over the hugely responsible job of masterminding Ireland’s longest-running and most prestigious of clubs.
It was an honour and pleasure to be involved so deeply with the club where I first stood on stage as a stand up comic. I loved seeing the new and long established comedians perform on the same stage and there are many memories I have from my time in charge.
Memories such as Brendan Dempsey ejecting a rowdy bunch of pissed up fuckwits single handedly from the venue as they were upsetting everyone in the room. Memories such as a very nervous open spot (brand new comic) getting oral relief from his girlfriend or punter or sister or whoever she was on the back stairs of the club, and being told to “Fuck off” as he wasn’t ready to go on stage yet. He didn’t get on that night! My favourite of all was when three ‘nameless’ acts and the MC were pissed up on booze and out of their maningas on LSD and still managed to pull off one of the funniest shows ever staged in The Comedy Cellar. I think!
It is a great venue where one can see amazing acts in such an intimate and unpretentious setting. Everyone lauds the great comics that have stood on the stage, like the household names that are Ardal O’Hanlon, Barry Murphy, Tommy Tiernan, Dylan Moran, Dara O’Brian and Deirdre O’Kane etc. All great comics in their own right and all have gone on from performing at The Comedy Cellar to great and good and wonderful things in television and film.
The next batch that will come knocking on your comedy consciousness include names that may not be widely known outside of comedy circles, but nevertheless deserve your attention and laughs. They include people like Brendan Dempsey, Ian Coppinger, Kevin Gildea, Anne Gildea, Des Bishop and David Doherty.
And then there are the ‘young guns’. The ‘Brand New Sunday Going To Mass’ comedy greats that will be the stars of the future. Names such as Reuben, PJ Gallagher, Karl Spain, Neil Delamere, Andrew Stanley and Dave McSavage. These guys are hard working, enthusiastic and have a hunger to succeed in this business like no one I have ever seen before. So, to the older, more established comics, I say this: Organise to have these motherfuckers killed as soon as possible. I suggest we call the northies, the southies, the easties or the westies or whoever will take on such a contract and have these testosterone filled freaks wiped out before they multiply.
Special mention must also go to the undiscovered ladies that are performing on the circuit these days such as Tara Flynn, Sue Collins, Ann Lillis, Priscilla Robinson and Kathleen O’Rourke. These should not be wiped out but merely licked and encouraged to continue on their way.
I know I may have left some folk out but I can tell you that I have made a lot of friends as a result of my dealings with the Comedy Cellar, but big thanks must go to the O’Donohues. Without the support from John and James (owners of the International Bar) and the various staff I have encountered over the past four years or so, this job would have been a lot more difficult. Thank you one and all and Tommy Nicholson, keep doing what you’ re doing son. To the people who cancelled at the last minute, I put a hex on your larynx and to those who got me out of a hole because of those shitheads cancelling, I wish you luck and strong larynx, or larynxes or whatever the plural might be.
I have retired to the eastern sea board of Malahide where I shall spend my retirement annoying my new neighbours and counting the interest on my Lotto win!

Paddy Courtney will be in the Sugar Club every Thursday until Christmas; Cork (Nov 28 & 29, Dec 19). His award-winning short Yu Ming Is Ainm Dom will be screened on TG4 on New Year’s day at 9pm