Grey - EL James

Christian Grey has a twitchy penis. That, and mommy issues. Also a twitchy mouth. Anastasia Steele keeps twitching too. In EL James' Grey, everyone keeps twitching. Grey tells the Fifty Shades story from Christian's perspective. This is a mistake. Our enigmatic billionaire is part desperate teenage boy wondering "Does she like me?" and part creepy stalker. His need to dominate is predicated on his mean crack ho bio-mother who let his little green car get stuck under the couch. Young Christian wasn't able to figure out that he could free it using a stick so it's no surprise he grew up to be a man who needs an assistant to fetch his jacket. You could bypass all twitching and stalking and turn to page 101 where you'll find the first sex scene. Unfortunately, you the reader are less likely to twitch, which was supposedly the point of the book.