Jackass Number Two

And in the end times, when the Tower of Babel has crumbled into dust, the empire of empires shall grow fat with things sacrificed unto idols. And as they survey the vast expanse at their command they will say unto each other – “ruling sucks – let us go and inflict brain damage on each other by falling off skateboards and bouncing into ceiling fans.” And the jesters of the apocalypse shall come among us. And yea, they shall make merry with all the beasts of the earth. They will wrestle that commanded to crawl on its belly for all time in the pit of bouncy balls. They will drink the seed of the stallion. Leeches shall suck from their eyeballs. And a great $10 whore shall lie with the midget.
With the second blast, they shall pluck hairs from that which a man should not pluck hairs. And they will have vials of odours. Weep not, for the vials shall not be golden. You will be able to see the vomit.
And east of the ancient city, their enemies of the empire will rise and tug at their beards and cry – “How did these retards get to be rulers of men?” And others shall drink from the wrath of their fornication though the very seat of reason rebels and they will say – “It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine… Are those, like, trumpets?”