Kyla Cobbler - Mad Hatter Q&A: "I have done my driving test three times and still don’t have my licence. That, as a 33-year-old woman, is very disappointing"

Culture
04 Sep 24

Kyla Cobbler

The Hot Press Newsdesk

As she heads into a busy run of Irish shows, comedian Kyla Cobbler answers our Mad Hatter questions...

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
My third year German teacher. She was ambidextrous, which was cool, but she had a heart of stone which was not cool at all. Easily the most miserable person alive.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
My best friend Siun.

Favourite saying?
Happy. Thank you. More please. I say this a million times a day. It helps me practise gratitude and stay present.

Favourite record?
‘Sabotage’ by the Beastie Boys.

Favourite book?
The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat by Oliver Sacks.

Favourite film?
Goodfellas and Pitch Perfect.

Favourite author?
Stephen King.

Favourite actor?
Steve Carell.

Favourite actress?
Melissa McCarthy.

Favourite Musician?
Hozier.

Hozier at 3Arena. Tuesday 19th of December 2023. Copyright Miguel Ruiz.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
When I was 16, I had a holiday romance in Portugal with a very attractive local boy. We went down this super-slide waterfall, and the power of the slide ripped my bikini bottoms off. I ended up with my mini out for everyone to see.

Favourite food?
Mash with butter and sea salt.

Favourite drink?
Fizzy water.

Favourite stimulant?
Sugar.

Favourite TV programme?
The Office.

Favourite TV personality?
Stephen Fry.

Stephen Fry. Credit: Dawn Bowery/Channel 4

Favourite item of clothing?
A black and yellow cotton shirt I got in a second hand shop in Milan.

Most desirable date?
On the beach with my tiddies out, reading good fiction with loads of plot twists.

If you were not pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
Before comedy, I was always either a barista or waitress. I really liked working in hospitality, so I would probably just keep doing that.

Biggest thrill?
I sold out the Cork Opera House last February. It was epic. Honestly, I’m still beyond grateful.

Biggest disappointment?
I have done my driving test three times and still don’t have my licence. That, as a 33-year-old woman, is very disappointing.

Your concept of heaven?
Being on a beach with my tiddies out.

Your concept of hell?
Time is my currency, so the idea of being in jail scares the shit out of me.

What would be your dying words?
Fuck bitches make money.

Greatest ambition?
To live everyday with enthusiasm and not take myself too seriously.

Period of history you’d most like to live in and why?
I’m a big Beatles fans, so I’d love to have been a young woman in the ‘60s. Definitely would have tried to ride Ringo.

The Beatles, 1968. Credit: APPLE CORPS LTD.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you be?
A beluga whale. With the shape of their bodies, they seem like mermaids with knees, so scaring divers would be a giggle.

Your nominee for the best dressed person in the world?
My mom, because she is always matching and that takes commitment.

Favourite term of abuse?
Barren old wench.

Biggest fear?
Being chased by a murderer upstairs and having to open my front door with the keys as he approaches me.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
Electricity is a game changer.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
Paper straws are pretty useless.