Soccer and beats mixed with wicked Cork humour, kept our Quadraphonic

crew sustained for the four days of full on madness that was the Cork Weekender.

Cork's own local beats crew were the principle players in a live-action sitcom that kept us laughing between gigs. Stevie G and Jimmy in Comet Records, Graham and Alan from Bass Odyssey, Uaneen and Rory from No Disco,

The Donkey's Ears posse, Frontline promotions - you never had to wander for long before someone somewhere flung a wise-crack your direction. You haven't lived until you've sat inebriated in Cork Opera House's Half Moon Club very late at night as a fella by the name of Rosie entertains a packed room with just his falsetto rendition of opera's greatest moments whilst in the next room Bass Odyssey are busy rocking their home-town with their first Cork gig in months.

Thanks to the decade of hard work put in by the Sweat team, Cork has always been a

massive house and techno base which made the Weekender even more special for us

beat-freaks - you don't normally get to choose between beats nights in Cork. Thursday kicked off with a stirring show by Portishead in The Opera House, when they were far more direct than their televised Glastonbury show the next night. The hall was crammed, the touts were out in force and everyone wished they could have stayed for longer.

Later on in The Half Moon Club, after much lager swilling, Portishead DJ Andy Smith showed us why his 'Document' compilation is no one-off as he shared the decks with Cork's

own smoothie Jimmy 'Eyebrows' O'Mahony for a back to back selection of the rarest and the funkiest gems from Jimmy's vast collection. There was much oohing and aahing from Andy as Jimmy showed off his rarities.

Meanwhile, over the corridor at the Half Moon Club, The Plague Monkeys, who you wouldn't expect to be at home playing a dance festival, earned their inclusion on the weekender bill with a laidback groovy set that really worked and opened their music to a crowd would never normally have seen them.

Friday night's visitors of honour were Audioweb who, despite going on stage up against Bass Odyssey, still pulled a great crowd for a set that was audible as far away from The Metropole as the South Mall. As mentioned

earlier, Bass Odyssey like nearly everyone from Cork, always keep the gags flowing. Despite their wild stage show in The Half Moon they continued performing off-stage for many a hour, with Alan's hairdresser impersonations scoring highest on the clapometer.

Saturday night's headliners were the Good Looking Records crew - Danny 'LTJ' Bukem, Blame, MC Conrad and MC Drs. They arrived in early to allow Danny Bukem valuable record shopping time. Full Marks to Jimmy 'Eyebrows Alfonso' O'Mahony who not only showed Danny around his own Comet Records on Washington Street but brought us to a great soul & jazz shop called Vibes & Scribes where the only complaint was the staff's dubious taste in speed metal and their insistence on inflicting it upon us. DJ Razor picked up some more soul gems for his Mr. Ray alter ego and Danny walked away smiling with some old records by The Police and Fun Boy Three as well as digging out a few bargains by Boz Scaggs and The Crusaders for me to feast on.

MASSIVE CHEER

The Good Looking Crew's soundcheck was a race against time as it had to be finished in time to do a No Disco interview, a photoshoot and be back at the hotel in time to see the Brazil Vs Chile game. Uaneen Fitzsimons presented the lads with a miniature Book Of Kells which they were so taken by that a celtic influenced album cover may become a reality.

After Brazil's masterful dispatch of Chile, Blame was in flying form as he took the decks from Alan Bass Odyssey and played one of the sets of his life. The Metropole's grand ballroom was hopping by eleven as Blame's staccato style kept everyone fired up. All Danny Bukem had to do was enter the room to raise a massive cheer and his jazzed up set had everyone living it up on the floor until well after the lights went up. Sean from Partisan Record's Deep Blue arrived down at The Metropole raving about the reception he received in The Brog for his funky melodic drum & bass set. Meanwhile The Beta Band were playing a much talked about set over the

Half Moon Club, involving lots of instrument swopping and infectious stomping tunes.

Sunday afternoon was filled with the sweet sounds of DJs kicking the crap out of each other (virtually) as they all lined up for the Quadraphonic Playstation Playoff upstairs in Joe Kelly's well luxurious Bodega Bar, slugging their guts out on a beat 'em up called 'Cardinal Syn'. Alan Bass Odyssey was an early casualty when he was well hockeyed by Lindy Layton from Skint Record's Hardknox. Uaneen Fitzsimons, playing video-games for the first time in her life squared up admirably against MC Strict from The Bass Odyssey crew as local TV honcho and former Hot Presser Rachel 'RaRa' Prendergast stormed ahead as an early favourite by swiftly and viciously beating a path to the finals. Both Dominick and Stuart from Calibre dominated the winner's podium by

finishing first and third as RaRa was left fuming at second whilst Rory 'No Disco' Cobb had to settle for fourth.

That left just enough time to down our beers before the Weekend's last big blow-out,

a three-room affair at the Half Moon Club with Hardknox and Spaceraiders from Skint, Calibre and Razor flying the Quadraphonic flag and good ol' Jimmy 'Eyebrows Alfonso Alexis' O'Mahony appearing. Hardknox were amazing, a real revelation, spinning a mixture that spanned the gaps between house, hip-hop and big-beat wonderfully. Spaceraiders need a bit more time - they feel like Bentley Rhythm Ace Jr. at the moment - so let's wait and see. It's impossible to give an unbiased impression of Calibre, but this show, their Cork debut, rocked.

After four nights of such intense action, sleep in a familiar bed was all we needed. After three different cars broke down on Monday (hi Biggie, Ray & Graham) we finally said goodbye to Bass Odysseyville and made it back home, already looking forward to the next weekender - Dublin in October.n