LIVING ON THE EDGE

thing else. I don't really know, we don't talk about it that much.
Why not?
I suppose it's just difficult for her to get used to.
Is she worried that you're going to get hurt?
I don't know. In fact, I don't really want to know. Maybe she is. I've got a sister who's handicapped and in a wheelchair, so that's a big responsibility for my mother. Maybe you're right, perhaps she's worried I'm gonna hurt myself . . . I just don't know. It's a generation thing, I think. My aims in life are different. My aim in life is not to settle down and be secure. I live from day to day, I don't know what next week's going to hold. I don't have a mortgage or a secure job whereas my mother would think those are the right things to aspire to. I don't. It's just a difference of opinion . . . (pause) . . . but having said that, she doesn't try to stop me from doing it.
I suspect she'd be wasting her time.
(laughs) You said it! My dad thinks it's great, but he lives in New York and he's only ever seen me race once, so his input is very minimal as well.
Do you worry at all about getting hurt?
No.
Surely it must cross your mind?
No. I think it's worth it. It's worth the risk.
Have you ever had a bad shunt?
Yeah, oh yeah (laughs)!
Have you ever been badly injured?
No. I've never broken anything, but I was on crutches once, for about a week. I had a nasty accident in a Formula Ford where I hit a kerb and tore the floor off my car. I smashed my feet against the pedals and got dragged along the track (laughs at the hilarity of it all). I was very lucky not to lose my legs, I think. But when something like that happens, it's just a matter of getting back in and doing it again.
Did you pass your driving test on the first attempt?
Yeah, yeah. No hassle.
What do you drive when you're not racing?
I've got a Toyota Corolla GT. It's 13 years old and covered in rust. It's my first car and it doesn't owe me a thing. Everything I have goes into racing, so I don't live in a luxury house, or drive a fancy car or stay in five-star hotels.
Are you a speed merchant when driving on public roads?
I would be if I was given the opportunity, but it's impossible in Dublin. You just get stuck behind things going at 20mph. It's a real head-wrecker. But it's probably for the best, because if you get into trouble with your road licence you lose your racing licence.
Do you ever feel like giving up racing and getting a "proper" job?
I can't do anything else. I mean, there really is nothing else I can do (laughs). I mean, I've really thought about it because it's such hard work. I've lived on porridge for a week because I can't afford to eat because I've been racing. So it hasn't been that much fun, but the highs are such a high. I've thought about packing it in, y'know: "This is so much grief and so much heartache, do I really need this in my life?" And then I go, "Yeah! I do." I've thought about every single occupation imaginable but I don't want to do any of them.
We've established that a lot of your fellow drivers resent you, but have any of them ever made a pass at you?
Not really, no.
Not really?
(Laughs) Well when I was out in Japan there was a couple of drivers who went out of their way to be extra helpful, y'know, escorting me to drivers' briefings and the like. I get flirted with but none of them ever ask me out.
What would you do if one of them did?
I don't think I would ever go out with another driver because drivers tend to . . . there's a lot of effort that goes into . . . y'know . . . I don't know. (Laughs) Look, I know that I'm probably, eh, hard work to go out with and I think another driver . . . well, it just wouldn't work. Definitely not, unless of course, he was exceptionally cute.
Are you going out with anyone?
No, not at the moment. I've been in a really long relationship before and it's just not a priority. It's not something I think about or worry about . . . it just isn't happening at the moment.
Was there any connection between the break-up of your relationship and your career?
There was, funnily enough (laughs), mainly because I left the country. That's always a killer for any relationship.
Were you forced to choose between him and the car?
No, it just reached its natural conclusion.
How do you relax?
I eat out loads. My favourite past-time is food.
What about music?
Oh, I really love going to watch bands playing. I think absolutely anybody is brilliant live. I would love to see Madonna live, I think she's fantastic. I'm mad into Finley Quaye at the moment. I'm into the real kind of soul music; Erykah Badu and stuff as well. Anyone black and female, really. When I was in school, all my friends were in a band and I used to hang out at McGonagles, the Baggot, all the places that ever took crap bands. But I do love live music; I even went to see the Spice Girls! Everyone was knee-high and there was eight of us, all girls in our 20s, screaming for Girl Power. It was quite a raunchy show, actually. The Spice Girls were asking the crowd to tell them their fantasies and I was standing there thinking: "They don't have fantasies, they're four!"
What are your fantasies?
My fantasies? My absolute ideal fantasy is out-qualifying Michael Schumacher. I actually do day-dream that one quite a lot. Formula One . . . that's my fantasy, that's my dream.
Which is better, motor racing or sex?
(long pause) Motor racing lasts longer (laughs).
That depends on who you're having sex with.
Does it now? No, I'm afraid motor racing is a bigger thrill, so the guys lose out (laughs). Think about it, 200 miles per hour - it's hard to top that. n