MALLON HEAD

MAD GERRY Mallon is reluctant to divulge his age, describing himself as being "younger than Paul McGrath but a bit older than Ronaldo." Nevertheless, he openly confesses to being present in the GPO on the night an Englishman tried to torch it. Thankfully, it wasn't 1916 revisited, as the post office in question was the popular nightclub on Galway's Eglinton Street, where Gerry has run the Murphy's Comedy Club every Sunday night for "about three years."

"It was unbelievable," Gerry recalls. "Because the club is sponsored by Murphy's brewery, we had loads of bunting up all over the place, which was grand until Steve Rawlings, a comedian and juggler came to perform. He was juggling with fire and he threw this fireball in the air and it set fire to a piece of bunting. It all went off like a tinderbox (laughs). There was molten bunting dripping down on everyone - we nearly had another Stardust!"

A genuine comedy gent, Gerry Mallon hails from Mayo, lives in Connemara and plys his weekly tirades in Galway, just around the corner from Eyre Square. He first became involved in comedy handing out flyers for a club which was set up by some of his cronies, including Cillian Fennell, now a producer on The Late Late Show, back in 1991.

"There wasn't really a scene at all back then," he muses. "Basically we just had members of Mr Trellis alternating weeks. It'd be Ardal (O'Hanlon), Barry (Murphy), Kevin (Gildea), Ardal, Barry, Kevin, The Quack Squad (Joe Rooney and Paul Tylak), Ardal, Barry, Kevin . . . (laughs) . Dermot Morgan was actually the very first act we had on in the club. He did two nights: the first night it was free and the place was stuffed, the second night it was a pay in gig and the place was totally deserted. It cost us a fortune. Dermot was very nice about it though, he bought us a few pints and apologised for the small door before asking us for his money (laughs). Thankfully, a couple of us got lucky on a poker machine and managed to pay him off. We wanted a big name to open the place but we had to throw in our rent, and the poker winnings to pay him off. A few of us were even eyeing up the Trocaire boxes on the counter of the bar."

Gerry got promoted from his lowly position as Flyer Boy one night when the regular compere of the club "pulled a sickie." As someone who had always harboured notions of being a comedian, Gerry grabbed the mic with one hand and the opportunity to stand under the spotlight with the other.

"It was fucking terrible," he groans. "When I stood up there for the very first show I was like a rabbit in front of the headlights of a car. I looked like a complete eejit and I was about as funny as a car crash."

These days, Gerry is something of a cult figure in his adopted home town and when he's not MCing in the GPO, he travels the highways and byways of Ireland keeping the local yokels rolling in the aisles

"I do the Carrolls tours, I've done all the clubs in Ireland, the Gael Force III thing in Edinburgh with Tommy Tiernan and Patrick McDonnell and I've done various Arts Festivals and stuff as well," he explains. "I don't travel up east much, as you know. I don't need to actually, because every two bit town in the west has a festival of some sort during the summer and I make good bucks working those. I mean, I might be standing on the back of a truck doing my thing between the Guess How Many Maggots Are Eating The Sheep's Arse competition and the Dwarf Kicking competition, but at least it's a gig, y'know.

"I could go up and do the Cellar and other clubs in Dublin during the week but, with the exception of the Laughter Lounge which I've played a few times, most of the gigs in Dublin are relatively small so the fee would barely cover the train fare and a couple of beers."

Renowned for the quality of its acts, The GPO was the first club in Ireland to begin inviting a mix of Irish and international acts, a policy which ensures regular full houses and a core group of devotees who have seen Gerry pull off more than a couple of comedy coups.

"Well they didn't seem like coups at the time but I've had Dylan Moran doing support, Ardal O'Hanlon and Paddy Kielty have both done support. Jeff Green, Rich Hall, Fred MacCauley, Lee Hurst, Phil Jupitus, Mark Lamarr and Jo Brand have all been here too, either recently or before they got 'big'.

"Tommy Tiernan is our biggest success story, though, because he started doing open spots in the club. I think he would have made it anyway but he did loads of open spots here and died on his arse the first few times, but then he just kept getting better and better and eventually came good."

Of course, such quality means that regulars at the GPO are spoiled and less impressed than at other venues, making it one of the more difficult clubs in Ireland for comedians to play. It is a view shared by Gerry.

"Well more than any other club in the country the crowd have probably seen more international acts so they're very fussy. Because they've seen so much, they tend just to be polite for the support acts and then only let their hair down for the main acts. That's who they're really in there to see.

"As well as that, the club is on the Sunday so they've been partying hard all weekend and there might well be a case of 'Right, here we are, hungover and we've got work in the morning. Come on, make us laugh." I don't really know, but they are a strange animal. I think it probably has something to do with the fact that they've seen so many high quality comics."

Gerry Mallon clearly enjoys his work, but hasn't yet formulated his masterplan to change from Mr Sunday to Mr Saturday Night.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get anywhere huge with this because I'm not hungry enough to make the move across the water and most journalists can't be bothered to travel beyond Lucan. They never come over to see gigs in the west. I've actually got a big problem with this East versus West thing."

A comedy cold war? Here in Ireland?

"Yeah, it's there, you better believe it," he laughs. "Before The Laughter Lounge started, the two best clubs in the country were Cork and Galway but the English and Irish media wouldn't ever venture beyond The Comedy Cellar. Don't get me wrong, I think The Cellar is a great club but it's basically the same guys playing every week. The two most successful clubs in the country which were trying something different were never getting a look in. It copperfastened my notions about Dublin media circles. I've seen a lot of comics get brilliant write-ups in Dublin and then they come down the country and die on their holes. I don't want to come across as some sort of bitter and twisted old moaner but it is something that annoys me . . . I just hope I don't sound all Bolshie and angry (laughs)."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gerry Mallon - a beautiful and angry young(ish) man. n

• The Murphy's Comedy Club, The GPO, Eglinton Street is open every Sunday night. Gerry Mallon will be performing with Tommy Tiernan, Colin Murphy, Joe Rooney and John Henderson in The Kings Head, Galway during the Galway Arts Festival. See next issue for details.