- Culture
- 18 Jan 10
We were properly excited when we found out that Ninja Assassin had been slapped with an edgy 18 certificate. A bizarre spin-off from Speed Racer, the Wachowskis’ 2008 box-office flop, the film promised a grand display of old school kung fu beats and decapitating samurai swords for grown-ups but delivers a good deal of rubbish besides.
Directed by James McTeigue (V For Vendetta, allegedly), with Joel Silver and the Wachowskis as producers, Ninja Assassin is, even for a film featuring shadowy supernatural swordsmen, very difficult to take seriously. An international co-production, the script has an unmistakable TEFL ring about it. Thus, Naomie Harris, our damsel in distress, is a non-descript Eurocop who, in the line of international crime solving duties, angers the ancient Ozuno Clan of ninja warriors. Luckily, help is at hand. Peeved by an incident from his childhood at Chop Socky School, like, total Madden and Super Ninja Raizo (essayed by South Korean pop star Rain) decides to pull a Jason Bourne, switch allegiances and save the girl.
This messy, sporadically entertaining romp can’t quite decide if it’s comic book action-adventure or Balls of Fury. There are major structural flaws here; the plot is far messier than the blood works or many eyeball slashings, the sexual chemistry between Mr. Rain and Ms. Harris is wintry at best, the production can look cheap and nasty. We might forgive it all if the film were a little more focused and a little less dragged out.
Mr. McTeigue works wonders with his inky black action scenes and his leading man’s monastic onscreen regime, but everything between the abs and shuriken is awfully forgettable.
What film are we talking about again?