In 1989, When Harry Met Sally asked: “Can men and women ever really just be friends?” The answer was a witty and heartwarming, “Hell no!” Of course, that was two decades ago. Nowadays we’re far more progressive. So we need a modern update. Enter Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, asking: “Can men and women ever really just be sex friends?” Ooh, can’t you feel the transgressive edginess? Pity director Ivan Reitman doesn’t have the courage of his title’s convictions.
Emma (Portman) is a doctor with commitment issues, Adam (Kutcher) has just been dumped for his aging television star dad (Kevin Kline in a predictable, thankless role). They agree to have a casual sex relationship, thinking that like Pinocchio, having no strings attached will help them keep things real.
The two leads are initially likeable, with Kutcher playing down his usual smugness in favour of a charming and comfortably funny role. But as Adam begins to cluelessly stalk Emma and she displays a level of emotional detachment usually symptomatic of a personality disorder, no amount of cute carrot bouquets or period CDs featuring ‘Bleeding Love’ and ‘I’ve Got The World On A String’ can redeem them.
Reitman’s downfall is the screenplay’s deeply conservative and ironically unromantic attitude towards sex. There are no scenes demonstrating how Emma and Adam’s feelings develop or why they’re right for each other, apart from the fact that they’re both very pretty. Instead Reitman shows them having sex and then immediately jumping to declarations of love, when we know that’s not how it works – if it was, Coppers would be called Cupids.
The hilarious supporting cast and constant gags inject some life into this by-the-numbers rom-com. Ultimately, No Strings Attached never delivers on its smart and sexy premise, settling instead for mere competence. And let’s face it, whether in sex or in film, that should never be the aim.