The Revs’ cover of Aidan Walsh’s ‘Rock My Brainy Head’ tops the Irish Christmas charts…

Minister For The Islands Sile de Valera relocates the Irish Music Board to new offices on Tuskar Rock… Michael D Higgins announces his plans to run for the Presidency and demands 20% extra votes for any candidate campaigning in the Irish language… A man who has seen The Fellowship Of The Rings 47 times denies the film is hobbit-forming…

TV3 imitates local radio by introducing daily death notices. The service will be called The Late Late Show… In his New Year message, Bono agrees to leave a small piece of the world for Ronan Keating to save… Meanwhile, Interpol are drafted in to look for Stephen Gateley and Mikey Graham…

The US airforce is called up to airdrop outstanding royalties owed by ASCAP to Irish publishers and songwriters… Sunday Times columnist Liam Fay is fired after attacking programmes on Sky One, the station owned by ST boss Rupert Murdoch… After another bad review for their latest album, thousands of Aslan fans are reported to be seeking medical advice… Catholic school-children all over Northern Ireland are complaining that Protestants won’t stop them going to school…