Rehearsals for the new production of Riverdance On Ice open in Birr… Mary Harney announces a national day of mourning for the thousands of civilians murdered by American bombings in Afghanistan… Passengers arriving at Dublin Airport complain at having to walk to the arrivals hall via Dundalk and then having to take a taxi to the long-stay car park…

The Minister For Education clarifies plans to reintroduce corporal punishment in schools. Unfortunately he doesn’t clarify whether it’s for the pupils or the teachers… Following allegations of ageism against the Government, people of all ages will now be eligible for Old Age Pensions…

The IOC announce that Knitting will be a featured sport at the Athens Olympics… An RTE survey shows that the Irish weather has improved considerably since they introduced their new forecasters… Eoghan Harris loses his temper… Eamon Dunphy announces his fatwa against Robert Fisk…

Gay Byrne enters the TT motorbike races in the Isle Of Man… Work begins on the Killiney-Holyhead undersea tunnel… The panel of the Popstars television programme vote against Louis Walsh becoming the band’s manager. Meanwhile, hundreds of hopefuls not picked for the band threaten to sue RTE for stress and humiliation suffered by their failure…