The Department of the Environment argues that allegations that thousands of compost bins distributed to the public are not made of biodegradable material are total rubbish… Louis Walsh is honoured by the Swedish government for his services to Swedish music… Bertie Ahern returns to St Josephs School, Glasnevin to be presented with an Honorary Primary certificate…

Osama Bin Laden is spotted working in a McDonalds in Kentucky… The first road rage death in Dublin traffic occurs on the Firhouse Road… Calvin Klein launch their new “Sweat” deodorant and pay Christy Moore 7 million Euros for his celebrity endorsement… Henry Kissinger and Ariel Sharon are arrested and taken to the Hague to face charges of war crimes…

The Chieftains record a new album with Eminem called Rap And Reel… Scientists from all over the world rush to Dublin amid rumours that The Edge’s hair had started to grow back… Mary Coughlan is to star in the remake of the film Sunday Fuckin’ Jaysus Bastardin’ Sunday Me Bollox.…

2FM announce plans to play a quota of 25% Irish music… The Catholic Church in Ireland offers to turn all churches into housing facilities for the homeless. ...