Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?

P. Diddy or R. Kelly – which is ironic, considering their songs were party anthems.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?

Some kind of clown, like the old McDonald’s one, or the clown from IT.

Favourite saying?

“Food is medicine.”

Favourite record?

‘Surprise Surprise’ – Cilla Black.

Favourite book?

The Bible. I studied it in school, and it’s a great instruction manual.

Favourite film?

Jesus Christ Superstar. The controversy it caused with the Catholic Church in the ‘70s was huge, but look what it did for the career of Jesus. He’s still a household name.

Favourite author?

JR Hartley – just because he wrote the Yellow Pages.

Favourite actor/actress?

Jack Nicholson, mainly because he played the same character in every role.

Favourite musician?

Jimi Hendrix. He was a pure natural and made Eric Clapton want to give up.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?

So many to choose from. But probably when a couple approached me for a picture, and I said, “Yeah, no problem”, only for them to hand me their camera to take a picture of them.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?

Wheatgrass and spirulina. I’m not sure exactly what they do, but they’re packed with nutrients and are good for you to drink daily.

Favourite TV programme?

Hammer House Of Horror. We’re going back to 1980, but it’s what got me into the horror genre.

Favourite TV personality?

Russell Harty – only because Grace Jones went at him in 1980 when she felt he was being rude and unprofessional. Must-see TV.

Favourite item of clothing?

Walking shoes. I used to prefer style over comfort, but as you get older, you realise comfort is more important than a busted ankle.

Most desirable date?

Anywhere with food that isn’t fast.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?

I wanted to go into directing – I love the art of filmmaking. So probably making adverts somewhere while trying to make Citizen Kane.

Biggest thrill?

Fast rides – on bikes or in cars.

Biggest disappointment?

Not being given a Nobel Peace Prize yet.

Greatest ambition?

Selling out venues across Ireland.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?

The Renaissance, because the artwork was so exquisite. Impressionism and Post-Impressionism followed, but the Renaissance (roughly 1400–1600) was one of the most influential periods, producing iconic works and artists like Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo and Raphael – before they became turtles.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?

I identify with lions and tigers, but that’s not in my pronoun bio.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?

It wouldn’t surprise me. I’d keep eating.

Humanity’s most useful invention?

The selfie stick.

Humanity’s most useless invention?

The selfie stick. The only reason I’d get a selfie stick is to beat up someone who is using a selfie stick.

• Paul Chowdhry’s Irlandia tour comes to Ulster Hall, Belfast on September 16; 3Olympia, Dublin (17); and Cork Opera House (18).