While prequels and sequels are the very stuff of summer, a third instalment in this typically demented saga was hardly to be expected let alone anticipated, with Pokemon no longer representing the ubiquitous scourge of the playground that it once did. Still, if Pokemania is on the wane (phew!), there remains a massive following among the under-tens, and therefore a guaranteed built-in market for this stuff. Which is where the rest of us get dragged in: for everyone else, this will be a baffling experience at best.

As with its epic predecessors, Pokemon 3: The Spell of the Unknown is really two movies. The first focuses exclusively on the adventures of Pikachu in order to introduce a whole host of new Pokemon – and all the merchandising opportunities for Nintendo that this entails! – while the second features the entire cast of television regulars and their dealings with yet more previously undiscovered Pokemon.

Pokemon trainer (?) Ash Ketchum, with team-mates Brock and Misty, visit the beautiful mountain town of Greenfields to meet up with their mentor Professor Oak and Ash’s mother Delia. However, unbeknownst to our crew, Greenfields is the home of a lonely little girl – Molly – and her father, who’s an archaeologist and expert on Poke-paranormal.

In the course of investigating an ancient and mysterious form of Pokemon (the Unknown???), daddy goes missing, leaving Molly with strange powers of wish-fulfilment. Soon, she summons a surrogate father in the form of the legendary Pokemon Entel, and a new mother in the form of Delia. To ensure that the new happy family stays together, suddenly Molly’s immediate world is transformed into a crystal fortress. As such, Ash and co must battle through to save Delia, not to mention Molly from herself, a task so daunting that even the usually evil duo Team Rocket are prepared to assist.

While all this may sound truly bewildering, rest assured nothing could compare to actually watching the thing, in terms of pure rampant confusion. Certainly, the level of animation is greatly improved from the standard offered by the Japanese TV series, but this merely makes the movie even more akin to an intense out-of-mind-and-body psychedelic experience.

Thankfully, despite the traumatised little girl at the centre of the narrative, Pokemon 3 is not quite as awash with saccharine sentiment as its predecessors. Still, how many more of these logic-defying Pokemon sequels will be inflicted upon the general public, we dread to think. Let the madness end soon.