- Culture
- 12 Mar 01
SEX, HUMOR And Truth it proudly proclaims on the cover and, sure enough, Hustler is almost as famous nowadays for upholding the Fifth Amendment as for what the porn world so sensitively titles hamburger shots.
A media manipulator par excellence, publisher Larry Flynt has managed to persuade a surprisingly large number of Americans that he s some sort of Martin Luther King-style free speech advocate who just happens to have a weakness for hot lesbo action.
This loveable rogue image goes out the window the moment you see their current subscription advert. She bleeds every month, you read Hustler every month , it says, next to a picture of a woman who, to prove it s that time again, is holding a pair of blood-stained panties.
To cope with their monthly friends , menses-leaking chicks turn to dull women s TV such as the Oxygen network, it continues. A Hustler subscriber has a monthly friend that s much more entertaining. At 58% off the cover price, a Hustler subscription is like buying five issues and getting another seven for free. Maybe someday your woman will have a Hustler in her box every month, just like you.
If not for this corset, my sides would surely be splitting.
While it may indeed be every American s inalienable right to view cum shots, it s hard not to be offended by Hustler s editorial stance which, in the June issue, extends to a thinly-disguised defence of baseball star John Rocker. This is the man who said recently, Imagine having to take the 7 train (to Shea Stadium) looking like you re in Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids? It s depressing.
The Flynt line, natch, is that Rocker was merely engaging in his freedom to shoot his mouth off.
There s also something deeply disturbing about a magazine that prints a letter from a thirtysomething man saying: While all the teenage boys jack off, dreaming of banging Britney s cunt and ass with their little dicks, I gazed at Britney Speared on the cover of Rolling Bone with contempt. I d love to stuff my eight inches of man meat into her mouth to shut her up!
Would that be with or without her consent?
As for that famed Hustler sense of humor we ll overlook the missing u try this for size.
Question: How does a gay man fake an orgasm?
Answer: He spits on your back.
Laugh? We never started.
Stuart Clark