Though this incredibly endearing animated doofus has now incurred the mighty wrath of the American Christian Right (they’re onto him and the sinister pro-homosexual way he holds hands with his blobby best friend, Patrick), his newly acquired status as Enemy Of The Apparent Elect can but only boost his street-cred among his hardcore fanbase, namely, the infantile, the wannabe infantile and the very stoned.
So too this fantastic film (honest), which makes for easily the best aquatic night out since they found Nemo. Preserving the quirky surrealist aesthetic of the sublime TV show (one part Tex Avery, two parts John K., one part anti-John K.), the movie sees our pure-hearted porous hero take off with Patrick the starfish on a perilous mission to rescue King Neptune’s crown and save township Bikini Bottom from the ever nefarious schemes of the Napoleonic Plankton.
It’s all very far out and anarchic in the manner of a benevolent acid buzz, and accompanying children are definitely not strictly necessary for your attendance or enjoyment. Besides, they can’t enjoy David Hasslehoff’s heroic cameo on as many levels as you do. Reader, it’s just too, too giggly and oceanic. I strongly advise you all to be washed down by the sponge.

87mins. Cert general. Opens February 11th