You sir, are an idiot

Almost as important as the educational aspect of uni is the time you will spend on the internet vainly trying to forget your chronic penury, disastrous love-life and those horribly unappealing early morning lectures.

With this in mind, Caught In The Net is keen to do its bit to aid the cause of academic excellence, and herewith presents a rundown of some of the funniest sites on the web.
First up is footer-centric Irish site www.dangerhere.com, which features gaffes from all your favourite soccer personalities. The site is of course named after the phrase deployed by commentator George Hamilton, shortly before Ireland’s World Cup qualifying campaign for USA ‘94 came crashing down around our ears (“and Bonner has gone 165 minutes of these championships without conceding a goal. Oh, danger here…”). As is to be expected, the Ham-meister has an entire page devoted to his commentating cock-ups.
Aside from the immortal “rabbit in the headlights” line (“Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of headlights in the face of Manchester United’s attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armor in the shape of two precious away goals”), there are also gems such as “And Hyppia rises like a giraffe to head the ball clear”, “You sir, are an idiot”, “The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related”, and the frankly disturbing, “The midfield are like a chef…trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside”.
Other analysts and managers featured on the site include Mark Lawrenson (“Classic own goal from Michael Jackson. Bet he didn’t do that in rehearsal. Tell you what, if you were his manager, you’d tell him to beat it. Wasn’t a thriller.”), Bobby Robson, Howard Wilkinson, Glenn Hoddle and Ron Atkinson, who is the subject of a special “Learn Ronglish” 12-step tutorial.
More homegrown mirth is available at www.P45.net, which numbers amongst its features a greatest ever Irish politician poll, presented in the manner of baseball trading cards. Michael Collins is just edging out Douglas Hyde, Mary McAleese and Countess Markievicz in the current table, with strong competition coming from Bertie Ahern (quotation: “Ehhhhh”), Charlie Haughey (quotation: “Maraaaaa”), and Mary Robinson (quotation: “Mna na hEireann”).
Equally intriguing is the current standing in the greatest Irish things ever poll, with County Donegal well ahead of James Connolly, and the ubiquitous Countess Markevicz bringing up the rear in third, closely followed by James Connolly and hurling. Other entries in the top 25 include Jameson Whiskey, Jack B. Yeats, Dustin the Turkey and red lemonade. Additional features worth looking out for are the Couch spud, E-jits guides, horoscopes, jokes, useless facts and Kennycam, the reality web show devoted to Ireland’s first celebrity block of wood.
All of which just leaves time for quick visits to www.plasticdonkey.com (mucho musical/DVD madness), www.theonion.com (America’s premier satirical news service), www.slabathon.cjb.net (a few handy pointers for those collegiate drinking binges), and www.cookandbombd.co.uk (excellent Chris Morris and Peter Cook archive which features some bloke called Paul Nolan interviewing Armando Iannucci in the collaborators section).