Sam Keeley: Mad Hatter Q&A

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Katie Hopkins.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
My Ma.

Favourite saying?
“The unwise one is awake all night and ponders everything over and when morning comes they are weary in mind, and all is a burden as ever.”

Favourite record?
Grace by Jeff Buckley.

Favourite book?
Hard to say, but I read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak when I was younger, and it left a lasting impression on me.

Favourite film?
It changes, but at the moment, it’s Lost In Translation directed by Sofia Coppola.

Favourite author?
Karl Ove Knausgård.

Favourite actor/actress?
Mads Mikkelsen/Kate Blanchett.

Favourite musician?
Justin Vernon (Bon Iver).

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
When I was around eight, I liked a girl in primary school, and instead of telling her how I felt, I wrote her a love letter. I didn’t sign the letter and left it on her desk in the hope she would like it. I only told one lad in the class (who was my friend at the time) that it was me who wrote it, and in front of the whole class, he decided to scream out loud that it was me who wrote the letter and everyone laughed.
It was terrible.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
I’m completely addicted to caffeine and would have a very hard time functioning without coffee. Also instant Ramen.

TV programme?
The Sopranos.

Favourite TV personality?
Graham Norton.

Favourite item of clothing?
My winter coat.

Most desirable date?
Early drinks in a wine bar, followed by Italian food, and then live music and drinks till the the sun comes up. Finished off with a walk in the grey morning.

Favourite method of relaxation?
I like to swim in the sea. If that’s not an option, I’ll look for the closest sauna and sweat the stress out.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
If I wasn’t acting, I’d like to try experimental archaeology. That’s where the archaeologists rebuild what they have excavated, like tools, weapons, chariots etc, and test them to see how people would have used them back in the day.

Biggest thrill?
Submitting a higher belt than myself in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It’s only happened twice, but I will never forget those two times!

Biggest disappointment?
When you give everything to a project, and it turns out shit due to reasons that are completely out of your control as the artist.

Your concept of heaven?
Heaven to me would be sat at a massive table beside a roaring fire with all the people I love, unlimited food and booze, and somehow managing to stay at the level of pissed where everyone is having fun and likes each other, forever. Before the mess.

Your concept of hell?
Having to repeat sixth year and sit the Leaving Cert for eternity. You get your results and wake up to day one again.

What would be your dying words?
So long forever.

Greatest ambition?
To leave behind art that people will talk about after I’m gone.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
395AD. There is something in me that would like to see the change the known world went through after the fall of the western Roman Empire.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
A stag. I’d love to know what it’s like to be able to move like that and with that power.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
I’d get together with my closest people, find a place with a view, and open a bottle.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Billy Porter is smashing the outfits for me right now.

Favourite term of abuse?
Fuck off.

Biggest fear?
Being buried alive.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
Modern medicine.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
Those small wooden sticks that some coffee shops give you to stir your drink.

• Kin airs on RTÉ 1 Sundays at 9.30pm. 

Photograph: Ruth Medjber