When George Michael was caught with his pants around his ankles in a public toilet, instead of hanging his head in shame and muttering his in-sincerest apologies, he went and released the queerest and most sex positive songs of his career. ‘Outside’ and ‘Fastlove’ were unashamedly queer and celebrated what some people would consider the darker side of his sexuality.

This was not the response people were expecting. But it worked and it was glorious. Now I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if George had been Irish. Or if one of our home-grown musical wunderkinds were to be caught ‘in flagrante’ in similar circumstances. I mean, we just aren’t comfortable talking about sex. We have barely got used to the contraceptive pill – and now you want to sing songs about sex? Gay sex? Lord, take me to church.

So How Sexy Is Irish Music?

We have been more than a little oppressed: under the thumb of Catholicism. And we come from a small country where everyone knows everyone, where you can’t just vanish into the crowd and get nasty. I asked my friend, Siobhán Shiels, of Great White Lies, if she had any sexy songs and her doubtless humorous response was pretty much what I expected: “Sexy songs? I’m a repressed Irish woman; sure what would I know about that?”

So are we Irish musicians all repressed and closeted when it comes to sex?

Why don’t we have a single artist out there in the vein of Prince, Madonna, Nikki, et al. – artists who’ve built entire careers on an intoxicating potion of kick-ass music and incurable sex appeal. Would Linda Martin or Samantha Mumba be liberated enough to release the ‘Gneas’ coffee table book, and corresponding album ‘Neurotica’?

There is the old ‘we’re a nation of begrudgers’ factor. Can you imagine Andrea Corr coming out with a song like ‘Justify My Love’ or David Kitt singing ‘Gett Off!’ by Prince? The absolute piss would be ripped. We are too parochial. And we take the piss because sex makes us uncomfortable. God forbid we talk openly and freely about it.

I am certain that we have indeed suffered greatly in relation to our sex lives, because of religious oppression. But is that the only reason? Is the absence of sexually charismatic pop or rocks stars on the Irish landscape simply down to the our ‘parish pump’ or parochial outlook? I mean look at our track record! The UK had Tom Jones, we had Dickie Rock. They had David Bowie, we had Johnny Logan.

Gavin Friday and Virgin Prunes were playing with gender and sexuality at the same time as Bono was humping The Joshua Tree. But for every Gavin Friday, there are a hundred Paddy Casey-alikes.

Every party I ever went to, from my teens to my thirties, had a string of lads queuing up for their turn to sing ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ or ‘Julylylylyly’ on an out-of-tune acoustic ‘geetar’. This carry-on was enough to make the most tolerant of libidos call ‘Taxi-Airport-New York’! How often did you see a genderqueer androgyn in full face and little else, clutching a ukelele and singing songs about rimjobs? No, we had to import Taylor Mac for those rare occasions.

Riddled With Sexual Innuendo

We live on a small Island, where everyone knows everyone, your cousin went to school with my uncle, so there is little scope for musicians to predominantly build their music careers around their sex and sexuality – because people are too shy about it, too embarrassed, too used to ridicule. “Did ye see yer one from Muirhevna on Top Of The Pops in her bra last night? The absolute state of her!”

And what would mammy say if she heard my song about blowjobs in darkrooms? Anyway, how do you make a song beautiful, and with a hook that catches the ear and sells a million copies, about blowjobs in darkrooms? Ask George Michael.

I think we will start to see more sex in Irish music over the coming years. Now that the Irish population is becoming more diverse, the gene pool is widening. The churches grip has gone slack, and more – and more! – queer and gender-fluid artists are emerging. The Late David Turpin, my friend and co-conspirator has sex on the brain for his forthcoming album Romances. Each song tells the story of a different encounter or fantasy. And boy does she get around, working on some fresh queer vibes with Veda Beaux-Reeves and helping me find my inner Julie Cruise at the same time. Because the flip side of religious oppression and ceremony is that it provides a wealth of sexual images! A friend of mine once said “The Irish are great lovers when they are not drunk! I think it’s how they get all that religious oppression out!”

And look how Madonna made the imagery inherited from Catholicism sexy. ‘God’ we have a lot to work with!

My own album Toy is riddled with sexual innuendo and even not so subtle allusions. I have love songs to my husband, but they all reference what an incredible lover he is. Or I am. Or they are. The possible interpretations are limitless.

The name Toy was chosen for a reason. Just as the imagery was chosen as an homage to Marilyn Monroe. The ultimate toy. The ultimate plaything, the ultimate fantasy. For me at least, I hope it’s never time to put away my toys.

• Released in 2014, Toy by Jaime Nanci & The Blue Boys is available from jaimenancyandtheblueboys.com