- Lifestyle & Sports
- 10 Oct 17
Four years ago, Cavan goalkeeper Alan O'Mara penned a 4000-word article for the Sunday Independent detailing his battle with depression and subsequent suicidal thoughts, making him the first active senior inter-county player to go public about experiencing mental health problems.
It was a piece that more than matched his bravery on the pitch, and became a real watershed moment for Irish sports-people.
"I wanted to kickstart a conversation," says the former Ulster u21 champion, "and it went far beyond my expectations. It ended up going viral, which was something I wasn't expecting. At the time I was a little 22-year-old from Cavan who didn't have a clue, but you learn from it. It was a lot of exposure and pressure I wasn't ready for, but I don't regret writing it one bit."
Alan's team-mates and the world of GAA as a whole helped him get through the experience at the time, as he explains.
"The lads were grand about it. A few of them already knew what I going though, but the large majority didn't. There was no negative feedback. I actually felt a greater sense of camaraderie after it was published. People approached me afterwards and we probably had better conversations than we ever had before. The thing with young males a lot of the time is we say an awful lot without saying anything at all, and the dressing room is an amplified version of that. Over the course of the following weeks, I had better conversations with players and managers, and the support from everyone reassured me I was doing the right thing."
Last year, O'Mara released a book titled The Best Is Yet To Come: A Memoir About Football And Finding A Way Through The Dark, in a bid to both expand on his story, and help others who might need it. Mostly written over a period of three months in San Francisco, it proved a cathartic experience.
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"I wrote it myself, there was no ghost writer," he says of the bestselling book. "It was very cathartic writing it, because I feel I have a good sense of perspective about it now. I learned an awful lot about myself first and foremost. It's something I'm very proud of."
"People get in touch regularly on social media to say it's helped them make sense of stuff. That was the important thing, as it's really what the book is for. It was never about myself - it was about telling a story with a view to helping other people. When your mind goes through a mental health episode, your head is literally telling you you're the only person who feels that way, but that's not true."
In addition to his book, O'Mara also founded the podcast Real Talks, which offers prominent Irish figures the opportunity to talk about life lessons, sport and much more.
"Real Talks is about getting beyond the first layer and having a more meaningful conversation," he says. "We've had 40,000 plays so far and I'm delighted about that, as it's a pretty small operation. I'm lucky enough to be in a good state of mind and I have been for quite some time, so I started it to help others. It's all about creating an environment for players where they feel they can relax and open up. I'm not saying everyone who comes on opens their heart and soul, but you certainly hear more from a player than you would at a press conference. I've got to meet some fascinating characters, including the likes of Kevin McManamon who's just won another All Ireland medal with Dublin, and Oisin McConville, one of the most successful players in GAA history."
And on the subject of sports-people, Alan has some words of advice for other athletes who might be experiencing similar issues to those he went through.
"The big thing to remember is you're not the only one, you're not alone," he concludes. "I'm still learning that now doing the podcast. I think it's important for sports-people to remember that they're still just a person as well, and they're going to have ups and downs like everyone else. Our mental health services are not perfect and they're not up to scratch. But the one thing I do say about that is it's very easy to get caught up in the negative and blame the government etc. The most important thing from my perspective is to keep looking for help, and there are a lot of great charities out there doing brilliant work. The likes of Pieta House, for example, are excellent, so you've gotta really dig in and find what's right for you."
For more information on Real Talks visit realtalks.ie.