- Lifestyle & Sports
- 12 Sep 23
Roommate blasting The Downward Spiral at 4am again? Kitchen sink beginning to resemble a Damien Hirst installation? Sharing living space may occasionally be tricky. Here's Riccardo Dwyer's take on how to deal with the stresses of sharing student accommodation...
The student dwelling: a place where dishes miraculously multiply, and the ‘whose-turn-is-it-to-buy-toilet-paper?’ debate reaches arcane philosophical heights.
Navigating college life can be exhilarating. But it is also challenging, especially if you find yourself paired with a less-than-ideal roommate. Sharing a space can foster lifelong friendships – but can also lead to conflicts. Here’s our quick and easy guide as to how these can be... sorted.
STARTING OUT
Let’s begin with first impressions. Everyone carries their own unique set of habits, experiences, and backgrounds. Sharing a snippet or two of yourself, and listening to what other people have to say, breaks the ice and sets a tone of respect.
You don’t have to pretend to be the best of pals, but spending time together can foster a mutual sense of understanding. A movie night, taking turns cooking dinner, eating together, or just sitting down for a coffee and a chat can help bridge gaps.
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Drafting up some basic ground rules, whether written down or verbal, is the best way to avoid unnecessary tensions. Deciding who cleans what, how late is too late for blasting out the latest techno meisterworks, and agreeing to keep smoking to the back garden, will spare everyone from posting passive aggressive sticky notes.
There will be times when that mountain of dishes resembles the Alps, or a mysterious friend overstays their welcome. Approach any issues head-on but always with empathy. Have a friendly onversation rather than a confrontation.
SHARING IS CARING
You’ll quickly realise the line between ‘mine’ and ‘ours’ can blur very easily. It’s usually a good idea to keep things like tea, butter and cleaning supplies as communal amenities – but always be prepared to pay your share without people having to badger you.
Joint purchases require clarity. There’s plenty of apps (like Tricount) that can track who owes what, ensuring that nobody feels they’re unfairly out of pocket. Sending receipts into a shared group chat also helps to keep tabs.
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If you were looking forward to those leftovers or had procured some nice ingredients for a dinner date, communicating that they’re off limits is key. Don’t however, label the milk or stash your beer in a locked crate. No one likes a miser.
MINDFULNESS
Be conscious of each other’s schedule. You may be at your happiest making pasta to AC/DC at 2am, but that’s hardly fair if your room-mate has an early start.
This cuts both ways. If you’re an early riser, remember that others might be having a lie-in. it’s a good idea to agree on some ‘quiet hours’ and stick to them. Headphones are a peacekeeping tool.
Living together doesn’t mean you have to abandon your personal space. Make sure to take plenty of exercise or create a little corner in your living area to chill out. When a roommate needs some ‘me time,’ be respectful. Everyone needs a break from communal living at some point.
While it’s important to sensibly resolve any issues that arise, it’s equally important to celebrate and laugh at the shared moments, especially the absurd ones. These will one day be remembered fondly. Why not start now?
(Please note that some of the creatures you’ll live with may be genuinely inconsiderate and therefore bad roommates. If conflicts escalate and personal dialogue fails, seek mediation. Your university will offer counselling services or have some sort of residence assistant, trained to help resolve roommate disputes.)
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