Hosanna in the fuckin' highest and cry bloody havoc. The Darkness live album is upon us (their preferred position) so get down on your knees (Oi, Oi!) and give thanks and praise. Words are but paltry things, and hardly equal to the task, but I shall do my best, handicapped as I am by the limits of language, to describe the wonders contained within this Pandora's box (wink, wink) of tricks.

If you have basked in the light of The Darkness live - if you haven't, consider yourself accursed, and immediately flagellate yourself with one of those pious anti-wank whips - then you should have an inkling of what's coming - quite possibly you.

Behold the opening riff of the mighty 'Black Shuck' ("That dog don't give a fuck!") as it lands like a fridge on a toe. Marvel at the intricacies of 'One Way Ticket', which would have even my old carnival pal No-Neck Joe headbanging like billy-o. If you happened to be holding a pet or a small child as 'Solid Gold' leaps from the speakers, you'd hurl it out the window, reasoning, quite rightly, that rock of such immense, supernatural power leaves one with little choice but to throw shapes, and babies.

Even the incongruous ("Incongrwhatus? Fuck you, college boy!" - The Darkness) presence of 'Christmas Time' is allowed, for it rocks with a glory beyond reckoning. And they finish with 'I Believe In A Thing Called Love' because there is a mathematical logic to the universe which The Darkness were probably consulted about just before the big bang (MATRON!).

All this, and there's even a story about playing a guitar solo on the back of a tiger, because of course there fucking is. Not since the Lord came down upon (nudge, nudge) Mount Sinai has such a design for life been carved in stone by the hammer, and chisel, of the Gods. Rejoice that you are alive to receive it.

Rating: 8/10