Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart: All For One (A&M).

Now if this theme tune for the latest Hollywood assault on the reputation of ‘The Three Musketeers’ had been sung by Axl Rose and two other preening metallurgists under 30, we might just have been proffered the reason for some raucous belly-laughs.

But none of this trio have the humility to acknowledge that countless hours in the gym doesn’t necessarily make you young at heart. Do I really need to go further in describing this tedious, over-earnest and self-regarding ballad?