Whoever told Madonna that this song was actually any good must’ve been more concerned with their payroll than her actual music, for I fail to recall the last time I heard a record quite so utterly abysmal. Everything about it screams cock up: from the piss poor beats to the total lack of melody, from the humiliating “rap” to the cringeworthy lyrics. This song is exactly what it says on the tin: a forty-something woman with modest vocal talent attempting to be down with the kids. Tragic.