- Music
- 15 Dec 21
Singer-songwriter, producer and director Billie Eilish touches on porn on Happier Than Ever track 'Male Fantasy'.
Billie Eilish has described suffering nightmares after being exposed to "abusive" pornography from the age of 11.
Speaking to presenter Howard Stern on SiriusXM about the subject of her track 'Male Fantasy', the 19-year-old said she is now "devastated" after reflecting on her exposure to the content.
Eilish said the experience led her to "not say no to things that were not good" when she began having sex.
"It was because I thought that's what I was supposed to be attracted to," the Grammy Award-winner said.
Eilish, who is about to turn 20, has spent much of her teenage life in the public eye. She has regularly spoken about body image and being sexualised while growing up as a young girl achieving fame for her music, wearing a baggy style of clothing often to disguise her figure before she turned 18.
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When asked about her Happier Than Ever track 'Male Fantasy', Eilish remarked that watching abusive pornography at a young age "destroyed my brain" and was "angry" that unethical porn remained so popular.
"As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace and I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was, like, 11 and I didn't understand why it was a bad thing. I thought that was how you learned to have sex. I was watching abusive porn, to be honest, when I was, like, 14.
"I was an advocate and thought I was one of the guys and would talk about it and thought I was cool for not having a problem with it," she added. "I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn."
The 'Bad Guy' singer discussed a range of topics including her hugely difficult Covid-19 experience, her personal fame and family with host Stern. She was later joined by her brother and producer Finneas O'Connell.
Eilish said she reached a point as a teenager where she did not find sex appealing unless it was violent.
"It got to the stage where I couldn't watch anything else, unless it was violent I didn't think it was attractive," she said."I was a virgin. I had never done anything so it led to problems where the first few times I had sex I was not saying no to things that were not good and it's because I thought that that was what I was supposed to be attracted to.
"I'm so angry that porn is so loved and I'm so angry at myself for thinking that it was OK and... it's how so many people think they're supposed to learn. It's how so many men think they're supposed to be and because in porn there's no consent there's a huge problem of consent and not just consent in having sex but consent during sex.
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"It's not super hot if someone is like 'Can I do this?'...but it's really important."