R. Kelly: Bump ’n’ Grind (Jive)

Like one obvious ancestor, Barry White, R. Kelly is far too sexy for his spiel. This is tabloid soul, male-stripper titillation fare, music to ogle the Chippendales by and fun in an off-duty, sniggering sort of way. Question: can you really believe someone still singing the hoary old chat-up line – “I’m not foolin’ around with you/ My love for you is true”. Answer: Yes, if you’re doomed to be a contestant on Blind Date.