Come what rimet

Stephen Fry recently fronted a TV show where he claimed that Wagner's Ring Cycle provided the final word on human venality, glory and soul-scorched transcendence.

He obviously never watched the France/West Germany semi-final in Espana '82, or that same summer's clash between Italy and Brazil.
As the phony war of the Group Stages reaches its conclusion, we need a soundtrack to accompany the blood-letting, infamy and hollowed-out grief of the World Cup knock-outs. So, Hit The North has asked a few local fanatics to choose some songs that will help track every dip and rise in the rollercoaster. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions, but one thing is clear: if messers Zidane and Maradona ever need bolt-holes to retreat to, they'll find safe houses all round the North.

You're about to kick off the biggest game of your life:
Deci Gallen (The Jane Bradfords): 'Gold' – Spandau Ballet.
"Do I really need to explain this?? The single most overblown and preposterous confidence-building song ever written. If this was playing we wouldn't walk out into the pitch, we'd pirouette and skip in formation; striking fear, trepidation and a hefty bit of confusion into the hearts of our opposition. Biggest game of our lives?? Pffft... we're indestructible, bring it on."
You've just scored a wonder goal:
Stevie Scullion (Cat Malojian): 'What The World Is Waiting For' – The Stone Roses.
"The Mexico '86 World Cup is still my favourite. I seem to remember the weather being brilliant that summer and being outside playing football from dawn 'til dusk. As soon as teams were picked there would be two things everyone would shout: 'Not nets' and 'I'm Maradona!' He was able to do in reality the kind of thing you would fantasise about. He was superhuman! Never mind the controversy with the Hand Of God goal, the goal he scored against England shortly after is, in my opinion, the greatest goal ever. The look on Bobby Robson's face is priceless! Pure genius. Maradona seems to be one of those people that border on genius and madness. That's why I love him! When I heard The Stone Roses, they kind of reminded me of him. They too had everything. Brilliant, brilliant songs; coolest frontman in the world; guitar hero in John Squire and the coolest rhythm section ever. I loved everything about them. Their Jackson Pollock-esque guitars and drums, Ian Brown's 'Money T-Shirt', Reni's hats. Like Maradona, they seemed to make the incredible look easy.”
Your captain has been sent home for failing a mandatory drugs test:
John Dinsmore (The Beat Poets): 'Bad Moon Rising' – Creedence Clearwater Revival.
"As I'm adopting Argentina this year, I think it's fitting that I pick 'Bad Moon Rising'. I think you have to put yourself in the mindset of the player, the minute you're selected for a random drug test, especially if the test is "random” and your name is Diego Maradona in the 1994 World Cup. Particularly after you celebrate a goal against Greece by pulling a face on the camera like you just stepped on a plug in bare feet... 'I see the bad moon arising, I see trouble on the way, I see earthquakes and lightning, I see bad times today'”
You've just scored a last minute winner:
John D'Arcy Jr: 'Only Goal & Winner' – Oppenheimer
"Oppenheimer (RIP) always channelled pure joy, and their albums will probably give you a bigger sugar rush than four packets of Skittles and a Dip-Dab. This tune is a perfect celebration song for that chance-in-a-million, extra-time goal. I also know that Oppenheimer's synth-fiddler Rocky is a huge footy fan, and I'm pretty sure this song is playing in his head when he scores on a Sunday afternoon kick-about.”
Your best player has just been sent off for nutting an opponent:
David Holmes: 'Heroes (en Francias)' – David Bowie.
"No explanation needed.”
You've just missed a penalty:
Orla and Owen (Louisiana Joyride): 'Fuckin Up' – Neil Young.
"Our immediate thought was one of our own numbers called 'Miss This'. A very apt title but alas it wouldn't work lyrically. Honourable mention would go to 'Chin Up, Cheer Up' by Ryan Adams with its super-optimistic title and uplifting "Can't bring you down" defiance. But we must be 'glass-half-empty' folk because the one we thought of was 'Fuckin Up'. Missing a penalty in the World Cup would leave us 'comatose but walking still' and the refrain of 'why do I keep fuckin up?' would be ringing round the brain for quite a while.”
You return home in disgrace:
Eamonn McNamee (The Holy Innocents): 'Search And Destroy' – The Stooges.
"Disgrace is part of the World Cup and the better the player, the bigger the disgrace. When Keane walked out after seeing the inadequate arrangements, you could listen to this song and feel like you knew what he was thinking. Same for when Maradona showed the world his crazy eyes. And especially so for when Zidane butted Materazzi with extreme venom. These men were assured of their place in World Cup history anyway, they didn't give a fuck about one incident. If one line from one song was going through these geniuses' heads just when the majority of the world's audience was appalled, you can bet it was:
'I am the world's forgotten boy, the one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy.'"
You return home in triumph:
Geoff Gatt: 'Moment' – Geoff Gatt.
"I'm going to pick one of my own songs. It's about a moment of your life when you float above all cares and worries and are in a state of joy that you will remember forever."