“And now we havf ze results of ze ‘elseekni jooury” … burble, squeal, zeekzrrzzsngtum … oops, we’re sorry, we’ll write that again … the result of the Hot Press jury, who wish to profusely thank David Byrne for all those pints he bought us in the International Bar last week – even if he did rather endanger his chances with all those neo-structuralist musings about The Bogmen.

Yup, Talking Heads can tell all their good friends in New York that they’ve won the much-coveted H.P. “Album Of The Year” spot, closely followed by Madness – a victory for two most experienced, original groups who both took a lengthy sabbatical to change their record company and reshape their sound.

A quick computer analysis – actually on the back of a beer-mat – reveals that the jury’s findings were very much affected by the album cycle for last year’s 1, 2 and 3 Bruce Springsteen, U2 and Elvis Costello respectively. Indeed another 16 of the Top 30 in ’84 released no original albums this year. Alternatively 7 of our top 10 this year, including the two Irish debutantes Light A Big Fire and The Blades, were mute in ’84.

But allowing for some swings of fortune, the jury’s affections were also fairly constant. Five artists, Lloyd Cole And The Commotions (from 13 to 5, the biggest jump), Prefab Sprout (5 to 3), R.E.M. (4 to 13), Micro Disney (19 to 14) and The Waterboys (26 to 10) figured in both year’s charts while Christy moore (actually number 21, if truth be told), the Smiths and Jason And The Scorchers slipped back only as far as the “Honourable Mentions” paddock. Womack and Womack and Prince And the Revolution were the two who vanished without trace.

Actually we were influenced by others apart from David Byrne jetting over from New York to buy us drinks. To copper-fasten our attachment to the Buy Irish cause, the Irish Goods Council promised a jeroboam of champagne for each Irish album awarded, so the jury most good-naturedly obliged with 7 Irish albums in the 20, including the three Irish debuts from L.A.B.F., The Blades and The Golden Horde – with another 3 bubbling under among the Hon. Mentions. Seriously though, we know in whose favour we’d prefer you to spend those Christmas record tokens!

Interestingly, the choices do offer a fairly exact profile of the tastes of Irish rock fans, confirming a bias towards enduring creators like The Heads, Madness, Ms. Bush, Mr. Waits plus. Americans like the resurrected John Fogerty and R.E.M. who know their way around a guitar. On the counterside, there’s a prevalent distaste for spaghetti junction synth music. Those who deplore the lack of black music should start a petition to get Bill Graham back into the Pink Elephant so he and Damien Corless can persuade somebody else to support George Clinton.

In closing may we also draw your attention to the compilation section since a feature of ’85 has been the wealth of re-released from the likes of Island and the exceedingly good folks of Ace, Demon and Charley who don’t even have to buy us drinks so magnificent are their back-catalogues. So onwards to ’86, when the 64,000 dollar question is: will the Jesus And Mary Chain pay us to get to number 1? We certainly hope so.