CELINE DION with special guests THE BEE GEES: “Immortality” (Epic)

I’d be more critical of this soulless mutual appreciation society if it wasn’t exceedingly likely that at 1:50am next Saturday I’ll be dribbling all over some unfortunate young one’s shoulder while lurching around the dancefloor of Birr’s only nightclub to its cringe-inducing, albeit predictably harmonious, strains. And to think that’s only if I get lucky! “We don’t say goodbye/We don’t say goodbye”, Celine and friends insist ad nauseum throughout. As if we didn’t know.