Mistletoe

Christmas is still about two months away, but that won’t stop fresh-faced teen idol and future sexual predator Justin Bieber from capitalising on the holiday album market, and by default, millions upon millions of teenage hearts. Beebs has already lined up Usher, Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men and Busta Rhymes (say it ain’t so, Busta!) to collaborate on his Christmas record, and if I didn’t know otherwise, I’d guess that lead single ‘Mistletoe’ was written by pop golden boy Bruno Mars. Oh well. No matter. With or without Mars behind it, the track is bound to sell an obscene amount of copies. Heck, if someone was willing to pay $40,000 for some of the Canadian’s hair (sadly true), I’m sure a few others won’t mind forking out to hear him squawk about seasonal foliage, even if the beat is hideously bland. Just one last thing; the use of the word “shortie” as a term of endearment was probably ill-advised, given that the 17 year-old is only 5’4.