No sex please, we're Brit-ish

"Whass-up, Dublin!”
Performing in front of a stage set that Cecil B. De Mille would’ve been proud of, it was clear from the off that Britney was just one element (albeit an important one) in what was an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza, almost old-fashioned in concept. Themed around the “Onyx Hotel”, it owed a good deal to the Moulin Rouge movie with hints of Lisa Minnelli’s Cabaret and almost every other classic Hollywood musical of the last 60 years. Which meant of course that there were non-stop, dancing bellboys, twirling luggage carts all over the place and scantily clad French-maid types, whose role wasn’t exactly clear. But the worst aspect of this over-the-top presentation was the unnerving presence of a vastly overweight concierge/MC type. A deliberately obnoxious character, he belched and farted his way around the stage at all too frequent intervals, uttering banalities like “welcome to the Onyx hotel” in the sleaziest voice imaginable. An irritating distraction to the main event, it may well have worked indoors but was lost on much of the 25,0000 audience who looked on with a mixture of puzzlement and bewilderment.
As a performer Spears is impressive in full-flight and rarely stops moving, apart from those never-ending costume changes (within 48 hours she had undergone surgery for knee trouble). From where I was standing – just a few feet from the stage – it was clear too that there was a lot of lip-synching going on – apart from the ballads which seemed real enough. Few cared, however, and the reception was as rapturous as you might expect from such a huge crowd.
“Oh my gosh there are a lot of cute guys out there tonight,” she declared at one point. “Are you feeling lucky? I might just marry one of you!” (Be afraid etc.)
She’s clearly moved on artistically and a good deal of the set consisted of songs from her recent In The Zone album, including the mega hit ‘Toxic’ and rhythmically infectious tunes like ‘I Got That Boom Boom’, and ‘Outrageous’. Her breakthrough smash ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ was notable by its absence, while ‘Oops I Did It Again’ was barely recognisable in its new jazz-based incarnation, though ‘You Drive Me Crazy’ did survive from her early years.
As for the supposed sexual content of the show, there were some vaguely x-rated simulations of sex acts taking place behind screens but you had to look hard to figure them out. (I tried, believe!) At heart Britney is probably just an old fashioned girl but as mass-marketed pop music goes, this was sophisticated stuff which made the Spice Girls seem like the workingmen’s club outfit they always were.
Next time around ditch the stage-props Britney – you don’t need ’em