The Courteeners live at The Academy, Dublin

Dear Mr. Editor, I was recently at The Courteneers performance at The Academy in Dublin, where I was surprised to discover hundreds of people singing along arm in arm, yelling football chants, fist pumping the air and having some sort of cult-like communal experience. As all I could see was a mediocre and generic indie band fronted by a stereotypically-cocky and helmet-haired indie blow-hard, I had to wonder, were these people even at the same gig?
After a support act that consisted of a projection of a football match (Manchester United vs. Bayern Munich), a quintet of Mancunian gentlemen took to the stage (the four-piece were augmented by an extra keyboard-player who wore a scarf even though it wasn’t cold) and launched into a set of “radio-friendly” music involving lots of “wo-oh-oh” bits for people to sing along to, a propulsive backbeat, pop-enhancing synths, finger-picking guitar licks borrowed from the Las, and plenty of strutting confidence.
Unfortunately, that’s about it. If a music-scientist was to draw a Venn-diagram featuring New Order, Oasis, The Smiths, James and the concepts “over-confidence” and “boringness”, the shaded in bit in the middle would essentially be the sound of The Courteneers. They hide this essential mediocrity behind song structures designed for a stadium, a frontman’s self-belief, and an admirable commitment to the gig (they perform in excess of 20 tracks).
Tonight The Courteneers armour themselves against criticism by demolishing a number of Straw Men established mouthily by baritone demagogue Liam Fray. He sticks the boot into supposedly ‘cool bands’. “I see you say the first album you bought was Joy Division... no it wasn’t, you were seven!” (Okay, I admit that that’s kind of funny). And then, after a Noel Galagheresque section in which he dispensed with his band and performed three songs on his own, he referred to “all the people who think they’re better than you, like A&R Men and reviewers!” The audience went nuts, and I was tempted to row in with the populist fervour to save myself from a lynching. “Yeah, them reviewers... they’re just jealous of you, Liamo!” I found myself saying. Then I remembered where mob rule leads you and decided, out of principle, to stand my ground and say the unsayable – The Courteneers just aren’t very good. Seriously, were these Courteneer fans even at the same gig?