- Music
- 03 Jun 02
Jack wailing like a preacher, each phrase getting its own gasp of breath, Meg's familiar pound-and-smash speeding and slowing as his fervent blues-gospel erupts and subsides
If you’re un-cool enough, the theory runs, the cycle goes all the way round and you become
unbelievably cool again. How else can a band this irretrievably naff in every way – five hugely
grinning, prodigiously sweating guys in their
middle, ahem, youth who wear dark glasses, throw ridiculous ROCK! shapes and haven’t been clothes shopping since 1987 – come this close to snatching the show from the White Stripes’ quadruple-fisted grasp? Well, The Dirtbombs are clearly too engrossed in the unabashed joy of being, er, dirtbombs to worry about such fleeting am-I-hot-or-not?-isms. They bang out the filthiest noise imaginable: sleazy peepshow-bar blues, garbage-can Detroit rock, with so-ugly-they’re-beautiful basslines and not one but, hey! two drummers (all good bands should have two, we are becoming increasingly convinced).
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The casual postmodern hauteur of The Von Bondies is the polar opposite to the ‘Bombs’ messy, goofily pheromonal come-on. But that’s not to say they’re bloodless. Their bassist and guitarist may be two Daniel Clowes heroines, all precisely-drawn, drainpipe-trousered chic and coolly straight faces, all the more impressive as they rip vicious surf guitar and gargantuan blues from their instruments with fuck-cares dismissiveness. But booming, earth-splitting drums (block-rocking Motor City via the pulverising pummel of The Who), tunes that are singleminded, locomotive and absolutely relentless from start to finish, and their lead singer’s wracked, torn-voiced wail mean they’re ultimately as blood-filthy as they are immaculate, wolves in skinny-rib wool suitjackets.
They’re a lot of things The White Stripes should have been, in fact. “I’m Jack and this is my sister-bitch Meg,” spits the man everyone has come to see, dressed in skinny devil-crimson from head to foot - and the female half of pop’s most famous ‘sibling’ act, peeping out from behind a huge brand-new drumkit, grins suitably enigmatically in reply. And the new kit, the new “uniform” tops (synthetic electric red, bright as blood) and a palpable new self-awareness attest to The Stripes’ recent arrival at the toppermost of the poppermost. So does the fact that Jack White’s painfully honest, life-or-death blues howls – as final, point-blank and desolately lonely as epitaphs on their three amazing records – are yelled along to tonight in distinctly non-lonely, populist, mindless-fun fashion by everybody here. We’re not at Witnness anymore, Toto.
And they do sound amazing – Jack wailing like a preacher, each phrase getting its own gasp of breath, Meg’s familiar pound-and-smash speeding and slowing as his fervent blues-gospel erupts and subsides – but there’s a new, just-discernible play-acting element here now. We hear it in Jack’s convulsed squalls (“What accent is that he’s singing in?” someone wonders. “Mexican?”) and we see it in Meg’s recently-arrived, highly mannered drumming style, all poses and ostentatious wrist-flicking (“She drums like a girl,” someone else notes without irony). And frankly, it detracts immeasurably from this most pure and basic of noises. Roll on the swift exit of the hype, and the subsequent re-appearance of the 4-real, no-lie White Stripes, who are merely one of the best bands on earth.