Ah-ha! Now we know why Robbie Williams’ split with co-writer Guy Chambers was so fraught with emotion. Allow him to unleash his “Ivor Novello-winning” songwriting sensibilities on unassuming US-tabloid socialite Ashley Hamilton, and you end up with this muck. One suspects that the Robster may be reserving what limited songwriting ability he has for his own projects. This is a three-chord disaster with the most laughable lyrics you’ll hear this side of the next Bow Wow Wow album. In the meantime, Ashley Hamilton should stick to what he does best, being the male Paris Hilton/professional ex-husband of Shannen Doherty/son of George Hamilton.