There are two categories of people in the world at the moment: clarts and everyone else. That is, either you knows it or you don’t. And if you don’t, then listen up because this shit is certifiably ‘safe as fuck’.

To be a clart – that is, “to understand the GLC” – you may possess one or more of the following qualities: scholarship of The GLC Dictionary and Reference Guide, access to their web site, a leisurewear wardrobe complete with chunky gold accessories (ironic or otherwise), a ‘Top of the food chain’ diet (i.e. only eating take-away or restaurant food), a weakness for herbal remedies (aka ‘jazz’ or ‘draw’ in GLC terminology), a penchant for well-executed toilet grade humour (see their online Tony Hart gallery) and an ear for quality hip hop.
For the uninitiated, Goldie Lookin’ Chain are the best thing to *not* come out of the music industry in aeons. Hailing from Newport, Wales, this nine-piece (sometimes 23-piece) posse have been building themselves a solid cult fanbase through their web site, a series of internet-only releases and, importantly, word of mouth. They made their long-awaited live (sold out) debut last summer, and have since played a spell of (sold out) headliners and support slots with Super Furry Animals, The Streets, The Darkness and even Snow Patrol (Gary is a self-proclaimed clart).
In March, they finally signed a record deal, taking residence alongside The Darkness at Must Destroy. Rumour has it that a collaboration is in the works – with the two bands covering Run DMC and Aerosmith’s ‘Walk This Way’. They’ve also recorded a song, ‘Motherfokker’, with the Super Furries, which is available on their new Slow Life EP.
And now thanks to a storming Main Stage performance at Oxegen, clartdom has spread to Ireland. With tracks like ‘Your Mother’s Got A Penis’, ‘Shit To Me (Fuck You Alicia Keys)’, ‘Leisurewear ’ and their new single ‘Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do’, these boyos managed to put the tongue back into the cheek of hip hop. But backstage, post-gig, it’s the cheek that reigns supreme. All attempts at an earnest interview are lost in the ganja-infused space of their ACME tourbus, with drinks, drinking songs, silly hats and general shite-talking taking precedence.
Among the many topics covered are documentaries, the Glastonbury toilets, cupping (“The next thing on from the wedgie”) and Welsh culture. “Dogging is the new craze in Newport,” says the Hawaiian-hatted GLC member. “Basically you stand around the bushes, in the park, and you watch other people, from a safe distance, having sex. And this is known as dogging.”
On the topic of backstage schmoozing, the crew admit to meeting Scissor Sisters, thinking they saw Jimi Hendrix at Glastonbury and leaving a fake dog poo in Peter Andre’s dressing room.

GLC’s Goldie Lookin’ Chain – Greatest Hits will be released in September. Goldie Lookin' Chain play Tennent's ViTal festival in Belfast on August 30, and The Village, Dublin, on August 31. Stay tuned to hotpress.com to see the Oxegen video interview...