Here we go again! You might have thought that the Irish anti-happiness league had been routed a long time ago – but not entirely so, apparently. No sireee. Within the ranks of An Garda Siochana, that ancient tendency in Irish society still holds a significant amount of sway – and they have been active in recent weeks.
Active in making sure that drunks don’t get behind the wheels of their cars? No. Active in manning the beat, so that citizens feel safer perambulating through the streets at night? No. Active in protecting tourists and immigrants from assault? Well, not that we know of. Active in investigating abuses within the force itself? Well, possibly, but we haven’t read a lot about it.
No, instead, they have been engaged in a much more pressing line of business altogether – that of imposing their own brand of stunted moralism on Irish society.
There is no other way to explain the recent raid on Club Outstageous, a nightclub in Galway, which is run by a bunch of like-minded art terrorists cum hedonists in the Black Box Theatre in the city.
In many ways, the Black Box is the perfect place for Outstageous. The club is part theatre, part spectacle, part gig, part dance event, part audience participation opportunity. It is the kind of scene that every good city needs, at which colourful people, mostly young, can congregate to strut their funky stuff and admire one another, and maybe even get it on, in a spirit of cultural interest and stimulation.
According to the club’s manifesto, Outstageous is dedicated to pushing the limits of virtue and taste, with its mixture of theatre, sex, art, fashion and “an atmosphere more catching than the clap.” Well, good on the organisers, the limits could do with a bit of serious pushing!
It’s a pity that a few more clubs all over the country wouldn’t do the same, instead of working relentlessly on maximising spend-per-head, and churning revellers out into the night as drunk as skunks – but that’s a discussion for another day. The fact is that the Club Outstageous menu is a fine example of what good clubbing should aspire to.
But the cops in Galway don’t like it.
They have a problem, apparently, with the fact that the club featured women together, engaging in what have been described as “simulated sex acts”. Now, it’s not entirely clear whether the primary objection is to the simulated sex acts – or the fact that they were of a lesbian variety.
Not that it matters. In lots of European cities, you can pay in to see real live sex acts between consenting adults and divil a bit of harm it does to the moral fibre of anyone, place or thing. In Spain, Holland or Germany scenes like this are commonplace. So why are the police in Galway getting their thongs in a twist over acts that are merely simulated?
Would they feel the same about a similar scene in a play? Would they storm the Black Box if Michael McDonagh featured a simulated lesbian scene in his next meisterwork – and if not, why not? What is it about clubbing that seems to get on the goat of the police – or certain police at least – in Galway so greatly? What exactly do they have against people enjoying themselves – like adults?
I wrote recently about the speed traps that have been set up by the Gardai on dual carriageways and other main roads around the country, aimed at catching drivers going a couple of miles per hour over the speed limit – and made the point that this sort of lazy and cynical application of the penalty points system brings the law into disrepute. The piece struck a chord. A huge number of people emailed, called and spoke to me about the issue, angry at the fact that the exercise is both desperately crude and palpably stupid.
The waste of time, resources and money in raiding Club Outstageous falls into the same category. It makes a farce of complaints from within the force that they are understaffed. It brings the law into disrepute. And it alienates ordinary, active citizens who are engaged in the socially useful function of providing stimulating entertainment for the people of Galway and visitors alike.
The gardai in Galway city have apparently declared that they will “do their level best to put a stop to this sort of thing.” As the organisers of Club Outstageous have pointed out, it sounds like something out of Father Ted.
Would someone ever tell the Gardai to grow up before they do any more damage?

Coming Monday on hotpress.com, Kevin McGuire talks to the organisers of Club Oustageous.